I've been freaking out lately about money and about Wade not being able to find a job. Last week they made the new schedules for this month and they cut my hours down to 4 days a week. I went crazy and have been so upset for these past couple of days. Wade's job that he got fell through and they lied to him about a lot of stuff. Mostly his pay though. So I really freaked out tonight. No where in town is hiring and I am so moody and upset. I got to work tonight and found out that they messed up on the schedule. Darwin's son did it and that's why I was only on for 4 days. (I think. When I saw the schedule he was here and I was like "I'm going to have to find a second job now. I can't live off 4 days a week.") I'm not sure if that's the reason or if it was really that they waned me on full time. Either way I am so happy. That takes off a lot of stress. Plus if I did my calculations right, I am going to be making an extra $123 (before taxes) for all the walk ins I've done. I really hope we get that extra money! I would be so happy!!! I am going to start being smart about money that way we aren't feeling like we are stressing pay check to pay check.
I've been watching Tegan lately. He is one of the cutesy little babies I've ever seen. Today he was wearing a blue polo with his collar popped. It was so cute! He looked like a little pimp (JK). I wish I could put pictures on here. He is a cute little Samoan baby. He is getting so big and can say Momma and Dadda. Today he was saying Dadda all the time. Every time I would hold him or he would just look around the apartment. It was so cute. It scares me though. Well not that but the idea of having a baby. There's times where I feel so ready and I can handle anything. And then I just start thinking about all the things that can go wrong and all the late nights and it scares the crap out of me. I don't know if I'm ready but I want one so bad. I'm having mixed emotions. I don't know what to do. I am thinking about waiting longer before we try. But then I think, when am I ever going to be ready? No matter what age I am I am still going to have to deal with the things that come with a baby. I'm still going to have long nights when I'm 25. At least now I am use to it with these night shifts. I know Wade's going to me a great dad. He kept making Tegan laugh and laugh and would cheer him up when he was getting fussy. He tells me about when he goes over to John's house and how he holds his son and he falls asleep on Wade. Tonight he was watching his kids for a little bit because John had to run and do something. I am so confused about it all.
So the good news is I've quit smoking. I haven't smoked for almost a week. The bad news is that I freaked out to night and smoked. Just once but I feel so nasty and crappy. It's the last time! I can't handle that any more. It's way too expensive!!! They've been raising the price of all the ciggs in Utah so it's rediculous to even do it any more.
Well every one needs to update!! I get so bored at work. All I do is look and Yahoo Answers. You can only handle so much of that. There are some pretty stupid people on there.
My Blog List
Just a little sample of my favorite music!
About Me
- sXenerd
- There's not much to know. View my complete profile to see my favorite movies and music!
5 comments:
I am sorry you have been so stressed lately! What a bummer that Wade's job fell through. Micah is getting ready to start doing school. Maybe that would be good for Wade too. Kevin can get more money by having a degree and you guys would probably qualify for grants to help pay for it. (at the community college we ended up getting some extra every semester).
Babies are work and there are hard times but you really learn how to adapt. Sometimes it takes a little while but you will get in a groove that works for you and your family. Kevin and I have an agreement when the baby isn't sleeping through the night. I take the first shift and he takes the second. When it was just me and Emma and Kevin was the only one working, I did all the feedings at night, but when I was working late for the hotels when Abby was a baby, Kevin took more shifts. Wade can definitely help out there.
Congrats on quitting smoking!!! That is so awesome! I'm sure it's got to be so hard to quit the habit but you will be healthier for the baby and it will be extra money for you to keep. :)
I'll try and update today.
Haha I love your posts Ambria. And that's awesome that you're doing good with not smoking! And yes looking for work sucks. There's so little work anywhere right now. But it does seem to be slowly picking up. I don't know if that's just here or everywhere but hopefully so.
I don't know where I heard this but I was talking with someone a couple days ago and they said that most people are never going to be ready to have a baby, but that having a baby will make you ready.
And yeah if you guys could survive ok if Wade and/or you just worked part time and then could go to school part time, that might be better. I was surprised when I applied for school and did the federal aid worksheet thing (which is easy and anyone can do it), I think the government is going to pay for all of the tuition cost and I think I only have to pay for books. I don't know why I waited so long but now I'm registered for classes and it was really easy. Plus the school I'm going to go to is nice and they accept everyone. Let me know if you guys talk about it and it seems like an option for you even if you don't want to do it right now, I still could talk to you guys if you want. David brought up a good idea too when I was looking at stuff. There are 2 year programs that you can do that when you get a job after doing them, it pays alot more than most regular jobs that don't require specific training. So like 2 years of school to almost double your pay is pretty good. Part of my problem was that I didn't know what I wanted to do, but there are tests and things you can do that can help suggest areas you would be good in. I just took one online a few days ago and it helped alot. So let me know what you think and I could help you guys out.
How cool would that be if you and Wade went to school together. You could just take like one or two classes each to start out with. Haha I just pictured that and it sounded awesome.
Wait....so, Wade NEVER went in to Honey Baked Ham???? I'm glad your hours are fixed, but I was so excited when I spoke with Chz about work for both of you! =( I hope Wade did go in...kuz there are still places hiring in ST.G
By the way, it was signed in as Markel....this is Kali, obviously
Post a Comment