Here Comes The Bride

We went to a wedding today. It was so cute. It was very untradtional. They guys wore all black except their red ties and black and white hats. The colors were red, black, and white. They had really cute decorations and there were a whole bunch of pictures of the two of them and the girls daughter. Being there was romantic for me. I don't think it was for Wade but he's a guy. I was getting all choked up. It reminded me of how lucky I was to have such a great guy. I was kind of hoping for Wade to be all lovey dovey with me and to look at me with tears in his eyes. : ) I think I have been watching too many love stories. That's okay. He was lovey when we got home. The owners just showed up and they are yelling at their son who was here with me working. They are yelling at him for his grades. How funny. Well I feel weired being on here while they are here. Adiós

I've Got Issues

I have been really bad about my jealousy issues lately. Everytime Wade talks about any girl I always get super jealous. I really don't know why. I know Wade will be loyal and I have nothing to worry about, but it has been getting really bad lately. Got any tips for fixing that? I have really bad self esteam issues and maybe that's what it's all about. Right when he says any other girls name the first thing I think of is why were you around another girl?! And then I calm myself down and think just because he's around a girl doesn't mean anything happened or there are girls out in the world too! Of course he will see some eventually. I was never jealous before. Well no, I take that back. I was a little bit but never this bad. Wade was really jealous when we first got together. I think it rubbed off on it a little. Now he doesn't get jealous often and I get jealous if another girl even looks at him. Oi vay. ANYWAY I think I am getting used to the hotel. I have a love hate relasionship with the night shifts. I love being able to be by self, not have to deal with very many people, get to have little breaks throughout my shift. But I kind of hate the next day. I sleep almost all day or I sleep for a few hours get up and have other things to do during the day ( wash clothes, go babysit, go to a wedding, etc. ) And then when I am done doing the things I have to do I can't make myself fall back asleep. Oh well I can deal with it. I'd rather that than have to work the normal shifts and deal with people 5 days a week. : ) I am becoming a recluse. I love it. All I need is Wade, my family, some food, and a nice bed. And I am happy. Well I am going to finish my movie I brought ( I love netflix!) Maybe I will write more later. We'll see

Growing Pains

Today was a pretty fun day. Kind of. I got off work and went home to sleep for about 2 hours. Drove down to the gas station to help them clean and pack everything up. It's so sad to have nothing there. We took down all the dead animals from the carwash and all of the decorations. It was so bare. They got rid of most of the stuff a few days before. About a week before we closed down, one of the workers (Adelfo) was trying to tell me how much he liked Britin. He said that she had a very good heart and was a very good person. It's funny how he can even notice that even though she has only talked with him a few times. He doesnt speak English very much, and I'm sure that she has only talked with him a little bit. But he could see she had a great heart. Even though they are going to loose their house and they don't have any money, she still gave me a whole bunch of stuff. From drinks to X-mas decorations. Plus she gives me money. So anyway I was talking about my day. I come home after about 3 hours try to go to bed for 3 more hours. Britin calls and asks if I want to babysit. Of course I say yes. I love her kids. And I love babysitting their youngest. (I am the only person besides her parents who has ever watched her) I was going to watch the kids for free tonight because as part of their X-Mas gift i told her they get a free night of babysitting. I tell her this and says no. I better take the money or else I can't watch the kids again ( joking of course ). She said that even though they are loosing their house she has a pretty good job and can afford food for them. Now that Wade is out of work I need all the money I can get. Now I am at work again. I brought 2 movies tonight because last night I had too much free time with only one movie. I don't mind the night shifts. I can acctually take little breaks and go walk outside for a little bit. But tonight the owners are out of town and really watching the cameras. I get here and some one comes in to get a room. The girl drops the price for the guy and he doesn't want it, so he leaves. Right away we get a call from Darwin asking why he didn't take the room and he has been calling me about everything. So now I feel like I can't take a break tonight. Or even go to the bathroom. Which really sucks because I have to go. : ) Even though my shift just started I keep thinking about sleeping. I can't wait until 7. Only 7 more hours to go. It's going to be a rough night. Wish me luck.

Wishful Thinking

I really miss working at OTC. I really loved it there. I know the more I work at the hotel the more I am going to hate it. That's horrible huh? At least I have a job and me and wade aren't both out of work. But I really miss it and all the people I worked with and all the people that came in everyday. I hate working with the public. I want a job where I can just work by myself and not have to deal with annoying up tight people. Wishful thinking. Maybe I am just tired from being up all day. I don't know. I really hope wade finds work. Maybe then I won't have to work. I hate working here. I am hoping for something better but I know I will never find something better. Jeez what a winer huh? Oh well. I only have 20 more minutes left. I'm just trying to make the time go by. I think I am really depressed. Sorry this post is such a downer. I am really emotional lately. <3

Laid off

Everyday I hear about people getting laid off and loosing their jobs. It became a reality to me when Wade lost his job. I figured with my new pay raise and working 7 shifts a week that we would be okay. Plus Wade got his unemployment checks and that would help us out a lot. People tell me everyday that either they or their spouse has lost their job. Well on Monday Aaron and Britin want to talk to me up in their office. I knew right then what was going to happen. I saw how much money was being brought in each day. Everyone knew it was coming. It was just a matter of time. They told me how bad they were hurting and that they've tried to hold on as long as possible but they couldn't any more. Everything was going to be shut down on Wednesday. Britin was crying I was trying not to cry. I was thinking great! Now what I going to do? Live off 200$ a week. That will only pay for rent (barely). And then I started to think about them. They just had a baby. Only Britin has work. How are they going to support themseleves? That is what really makes me sick. We are young. We don't have to support 3 kids. I really hope they will be okay. I love them and I would do anything for them if I could. I am not going to go into anything personal with them for their own sake. Luckily for me I kept the hotel job and Darwin and his wife are nice enough to let me come on full time. That takes so much stress off my back. I am working a lot of night shifts. That's going to be a weird transition. Well work is almost over. I'll write more later.

Wade

So about two days after we found out about me getting the job, we found out Wade lost his. So this new raise was perfect timing. We filled for unemployment and the money should equal out. Tomorrow Wade is going to go talk to his friend about getting a job at where he works. Hopfully that will work out. As everyone knows, NO where is hiring and most places are down sizing. If wade would have been able to stay, his pay would have cut in 1/2 or more. Maybe this is a good thing and he will be able to have a better job that he can have for most of his life. I am just trying to stay positive and not worry about money. ( Which right now is SO hard to do. We are broke. ) It is 5 am right now. I am trying to stay awake fir the last 2 hours of my night shift. Only 2 more and then I get to go sleep. I can' t wait! Well I think I am rambling. P.S. Yesterday I was in the back office at work and I could have sworn I heard people talking. I knew no one was around so I listening really close to everything to see where the sound was coming from. It turns out it was coming from the computer. It was speaking Spanish but no programs were running. I even opened the CD disc thing and nothing was in that. I called in justin to show him. He put his head up to the speakers and it was now singing church hymns. Weird huh?