I've Got Issues

I have been really bad about my jealousy issues lately. Everytime Wade talks about any girl I always get super jealous. I really don't know why. I know Wade will be loyal and I have nothing to worry about, but it has been getting really bad lately. Got any tips for fixing that? I have really bad self esteam issues and maybe that's what it's all about. Right when he says any other girls name the first thing I think of is why were you around another girl?! And then I calm myself down and think just because he's around a girl doesn't mean anything happened or there are girls out in the world too! Of course he will see some eventually. I was never jealous before. Well no, I take that back. I was a little bit but never this bad. Wade was really jealous when we first got together. I think it rubbed off on it a little. Now he doesn't get jealous often and I get jealous if another girl even looks at him. Oi vay. ANYWAY I think I am getting used to the hotel. I have a love hate relasionship with the night shifts. I love being able to be by self, not have to deal with very many people, get to have little breaks throughout my shift. But I kind of hate the next day. I sleep almost all day or I sleep for a few hours get up and have other things to do during the day ( wash clothes, go babysit, go to a wedding, etc. ) And then when I am done doing the things I have to do I can't make myself fall back asleep. Oh well I can deal with it. I'd rather that than have to work the normal shifts and deal with people 5 days a week. : ) I am becoming a recluse. I love it. All I need is Wade, my family, some food, and a nice bed. And I am happy. Well I am going to finish my movie I brought ( I love netflix!) Maybe I will write more later. We'll see