We Have No Feelings So You May Not Hurt Them

It's Official!

2010-08-12T22:55:00.000-07:00

OKAY EVERYONE. I AM DELETING THIS!!! I WILL LEAVE THIS UP FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS AND THEN THIS WILL BE DELETED. SO MAKE SURE YOU SAVE
HTTP://AMBRIASBABY.BLOGSPOT.COM
TO YOUR FAVOIRTES!!! THANKS FOR READING!

Thinking...

2010-04-25T22:33:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about deleting this blog. I NEVER write on it.
Go look at my other blog! Ambria and Kubrick <3
http://www.ambriasbaby.blogspot.com
I will update that a ton more than I will ever update this. Go check it out : )

Our Last Vacation

2010-02-22T14:41:00.001-08:00

Sadly, this was our last vacation together. I was hoping for something a little better, but we did have some crazy fun. We walked around some casino and I think Wade won about $10. We went with friends (Noah and Jessica) and Noah won about $70 or so. So they took us out to eat. We just ate at the café they had in the casino and we ended up just splitting our meals with each other. Then I went to Nan’s and went through her baby clothes that she is letting me borrow. I was hoping to stay and take them out to eat but I guess everyone was ready to go so I ended up leaving really early. Which I was bummed out about. On the way out of town, Noah wanted to stop and walk around Freemont Street. So we stopped and walked around the shops and Noah ended up getting robbed about $50. Some guy came up behind him and stuck him hands in Noah’s jacket pockets. They both fell to the floor and the money spilled out of his pockets. The guy tried to grab it off the floor and Noah whacked him with his skateboard wheels. (He had found a skateboard earlier in the day and wanted to skate down the street) The guy took off with most of his money but at least Noah got in a good whack at the guy : ) Haha. We left soon after that and returned home. I was hoping our last trip would be just the two of us and I hoped it would be longer and more relaxing but I had a ton of fun.

Quick Update

2010-02-08T11:00:00.001-08:00

Not much is new. We moved into our new apartment after only living with his mom for a month. I just couldn’t handle Holly’s boyfriend. He was a jerk and thought he was the man of the house. And thought he owned everything and excepted everything to be handed to him. I couldn’t deal with him any longer and neither could Wade. I also couldn’t deal with them smoking weed all the time. They would come home high and eat all my food and then get mad at Wade for accidentally drinking some of their chocolate milk (that he thought we had bought. Because you know we bought all the food in the house.) And so I just had to get out of there. I was so depressed and angry all the time and we both couldn’t take it any longer. I had seen these apartments on Craigslist.com and it was such a good deal that I knew we just had to get them. I had looked at two other places and they were okay but I wasn’t in love with them. Right when I walked into these I knew that this was where we were supposed to be. That is what I felt like when I had found the apartments we were in before. And we lived there for 2&1/2 years and I LOVED those apartments. (I wish they had 2 bedroom apartments because I would love to go back) So we have gotten all moved in and almost all situated. There are a few things I don’t like about the apartments but nothing too serious. The landlords seem really nice and so I think we will enjoy living there.

I finally got Kubrick’s bedroom almost all set up this weekend. His crib is finally up and is so cute. I got his bouncer set up and almost all of his clothes are on hangers in his closet (and organized according to size). Almost every time I go to Target I buy one set of hangers. His PJs, shorts, and older clothes are the only things still left in his drawer. And I figure I will keep his shorts in the drawer and maybe some of his PJs that are two pieces. The footie PJs I will hang up. I just need to go through them all and take off the tags and such. I was going to wait so if he doesn’t fit into them I could return them but he will probably fit into all the clothes he has. So, go check out my baby blog. I posted some pictures of the baby shower.

http://www.ambriasbaby.blogspot.com/

Court and JERK FACE

2010-01-21T12:47:00.001-08:00

Well court went well. I am so SO glad : ) I was there for almost 3 hours and I had been sick the whole time pretty much. My morning sickness is coming back : ( I also get super sick when it is too hot. And it was SO DANG hot! Everyone there needed a court appointed lawyer and they only had one for everyone so it took him about an hour and a half to interview everyone. And then it took almost an hour and a half for the judge to go over all the cases and I was almost the last person. There was a few people who also got tickets for no insurance. They got sentenced with a mandatory $400 fee, they lost their license, and had to get SR22 insurance for 3 years! I was freaking out when I heard this because I had spoke with the attorney and he told me we were doing a plea bargain (or whatever it was called) and that all I have to do is pay the fine and that was it. When the judge was talking to people he said, “No matter how you plea you will still lose your license and have to get SR22 for 3 years because that is the state law”. So I freaked out because I thought that no matter what that would happen to me too. Well I guess I was lucky because if you make a plea bargain then you don’t have to do that. All I have to do it pay the $400 fine, don’t get any tickets for a year, and show proof of insurance. WOO! Awesome!

James came down yesterday without any warning. Wade was at home and he saw a truck with a U-Haul pull up and back in the drive way and it was James. Wade hugged him and then he started going off on him about how this is his fault and that is his fault and blah blah blah. So Wade left because he made Wade so mad. I learned all this was going on as I was on my way into the court room. So that also added to my stress of the day because I couldn’t call him and find out what was going on. I guess Wade came back to the house with Stowe (Wade’s friend) and his mom. And I am freaking out this whole time because I know that James is going to try to steal something of ours and try to claim it as his own. He is so psycho! Off topic for a bit, one year for Christmas he bought Wade a game cube. Well about 6 months or so later James buys a new one for himself. He says to Wade, “I just bought this new game cube for me so if you want this old one (the one he gave Wade), you can pay me $60.” ??!! So I knew that he was going to pull some crap and do that to us. Well, guess who was right? He did take something of ours. OUR BED!!! Wendy was screaming at him saying, “How dare you take a bed from under a pregnant lady who is about to give birth.” James was like, whatever I do what I want : P No but he did say, “I don’t care. It’s my bed.” Wendy went back and said “You don’t even need it. You have your RV.” And so he ended up taking it anyway.

Before, yeah I was pissed, but I knew that I could forgive him and let him back into our lives but now there is no way. I don’t know any parent in their right mind who would willingly do that to their son and future grandchild. Where does he expect us to sleep? The floor?! Freakin jerk. He didn’t give a crap. He doesn’t care about any of us. I am done with him. He WILL NOT BE A PART OF KUBRICKS LIFE EVER! And I know he is not the type to apologize so I know he will never do that. He started yelling at Wade and said, “If you’re going to get physical then you need to get out of my house.” Wade said (censored version), “No, I am not getting out of the house.” “It’s my house and I pay the bills.” “NO DAD I am paying all the bills you promised you would pay!” And James said something about how Wade ruined his BBQ and stuff and Wade left again. SO MUCH DRAMA!

Not much else going on. I hope that once he leaves, he won’t come back. Wendy is going to be moving out as soon as the divorce is finalized. So if he ever does try to come back, he won’t know where we are. He will (unfortunately) know where Wendy and Holly are. Because they are moving across the street. With her boyfriend. Haha. If he ever does come back, he will FLIP OUT! Well I better go.

P.S. I am cheating. I can look at my registry and see what’s been bought. And I know that I have one thing boughten and 2 people are at Target right now buying me something : ) : ) : ) I am going to go look and see what they bought me.

My Rantings

2010-01-19T15:04:00.001-08:00

So… Kind of a lot going on right now. I have court tomorrow and I am SO nervous about it. I hope I don’t lose my license. I am freaking out. Eeek. I am also looking for a new place to move in to and it is nerve racking also. I am SO ready to get out of this place. I can’t stand it any longer. I hate being around them when they are high and I CAN NOT STAND her boyfriend. I really dislike him so bad. I am so excited to get out of there. OH I CAN”T EVEN TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I AM : ) So I am happy to be getting out. I am very nervous that our credit is not going to check out and we won’t be able to leave and we will have to be stuck in this miserable hole forever. I found these apartments and I really like them. They are a little small but it is nicer than the ones I looked at the other day. They are newer and I think they are replacing the carpets.

http://stgeorge.craigslist.org/apa/1528102815.html

It’s cute right? I really hope we can get in it SOON.

MY RANTINGS FOR THE DAY (it’s long and repetitive)

I can’t freakin stand to be in this house any longer. Holly NEVER cleans up after herself. Wendy comes home for a few hours (if that) a day and every time she does, she comments on how dirty the house is and tells Holly to clean and she says she will. She cleans a few dishes (or just sticks them in the dishwasher and doesn’t touch them afterwards) and then leaves the rest in the sink. The dishes have been piling up for DAYS now and it drives me NUTS! I always clean the dishes right after I use them so there is usually a few things on the drying rack (a spoon, cup, and a plate or so) from me and the other side of the sink is full of dirty dishes. It is SO full that the dishes are also all over the counters and the cupboards are bare. They bought a stupid little dog forever ago and they don’t EVER clean up after the dog. And they don’t care to potty train it either. They have a doggie door and a cage around the door so the dogs can be warm at night but can’t get into the house. THEY NEVER CLEAN THE DOG CAGE OUT!!!! I refuse to do it. I have never once cleaned up after the dog. So lately Wendy got sick of cleaning up after the dog (because Holly never does) and has been keeping them outside. I come home last night and all I smell is crap and pee. They let the dog back in the house. I CAN’T STAND THAT FREAKIN DOG! The whole 2 days (or whatever) he would whine and scratch the doggie door (and the glass door) hoping we would open it up. And it drives me nuts. I am about ready to throw him in the pond and hope he can’t get out. Wow. That’s horrible. But trust me. If all you smelt when you came home is crap and pee and NO ONE picks it up it would make you go crazy too. He poops and pees all over outside (and inside) and so I can’t go out and visit the kitties anymore because I don’t want to step in it. Literally it is ALL OVER the ground. And of course they don’t have any desire to potty train it or take care of it. For a while when Wendy didn’t come home for a few days, I had to go feed all the animals because they wouldn’t.

Pet peeve number 2 = I buy all the food in the house and they have never once paid for a thing. They eat all our food that I buy for MYSELF and they don’t ever offer to give us money. They do have money. They either spend it on weed or fast food. This may seem selfish but never once have they ever offered me any of their food when they go out to eat. And this, I think, is really rude. They went out to In N Out and ate it in front of me. When Wade came home they offered him some. I mean if you are going to offer food, offer it to everyone. And they had been eating in front of me for about 10 minutes before Wade came home too. It is just really rude. When we first moved in I went to Port of Subs once and we offered to get them a sandwich. I don’t remember them saying thanks and Holly was complaining about it the whole time. And then I get home the next day (or so) and they went out to eat somewhere and just ate it right in front of us. From that point on I told Wade I won’t ever buy them anything ever again. But I did buy food for Wade and I. I bought stuff to make sandwiches and Wade never got to eat one and I ate one sandwich. Guess who ate the rest? The whole month we’ve lived there they have bought maybe 2 gallons of milk and ice cream (which I don’t eat). EVERYTHING ELSE I HAVE BOUGHTEN!! They have never asked if they can eat the food or even say “Oh, I ate this, let me pay you for it” or Thanks. I am about to start labeling all the food A+W because maybe then they will realize that I am not their mom and I am not paying for them to eat anymore. Sounds mean but it would be a different story if they didn’t have money. I know they have money because they are always high. Obviously they have money if they can afford to get high all the time.

Okay I feel better now. I just texted Wade and told him I was going to label all the food when I get home. I expected him to get mad and say no. His response : Do you need a label maker? Haha. That’s awesome.

My Hopes and Fears For The Upcoming Year

2010-01-05T13:57:00.001-08:00

It has been forever since I last updated. Last year was pretty crappy and I am hoping this year will be better.

Things to look forward to this year:

 Kubrick being born : )

 Moving into our own apartment

 Our 4 year anniversary

 Birthdays/Holidays (Will be so much funer with Kubrick here)

 Being a mom/starting our family

 Getting my first tattoo

 Visiting Cali after Kub is born to see all the great great grandparents : )

That’s about it. I would love to move out of town but I don’t think we would ever do this. I need my job and my family. I get horribly depressed without them near me. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t visit them whenever I wanted.

Things I am NOT looking forward to this year:

 Dealing with James and the divorce. I hope that he doesn’t come down to visit. I will not talk to him anymore. I refuse. What he did to us was so messed up and no parent in there right mind would do this crap to their kids and future grandkids.

 Having to jump back into work and not being able to be a stay at home mom. That is going to be so hard for me. I really want to be able to stay with him every day and raise him myself but I know I can’t do that. I am all ready protective of him and I don’t trust anyone except Mom to watch him. I DO NOT want to have to leave him with Wendy. I will not let Holly watch him when I am not there. (Excpesially now that I know she is into drugs) I don’t want to take him to daycare. I don’t want to do any of this but I know I will have to compromise and give in somewhere so at least he is being watched by someone I know. I am really hoping that I get paid leave for at least a week or two so I can at least bond a little bit with him. If not, I will have to go straight back into work as soon as I can. I am going to have to work something out with my work so maybe I can work part time from home and do part time at work or work shorter hours during the week and work and extra day on Saturday so I can work during the day/morning while Wade is with him and have Wade go into work later in the day so at least he would be with one of us. Ugh so much to straighten out! I guess we will see how everything works out.

 Having to let Wade’s grandpa see Kubrick. It sounds horrible but as most of you know he has Hepatitis C and doesn’t ever think about what he is doing. While we were living with him he would take a bite of his food and then hand it to Wade and said, “Here, try some.” Or one time he cut his hand and went to the kitchen sink (that had dirty dishes in it) to wash off his blood. Luckily we never got it because we knew not to do that and we were able to say “No, that’s okay. I am not in the mood for that food.” Or “You should wash your bloody hand in your bathroom.” Kubrick obviously can’t do that for himself and I am just so worried about Dave giving him it. When he comes down to visit, he always leaves his cups everywhere and eats off his food and leaves it on the table and ugh. He is just nasty and I don’t want anything bad to happen to Kub. If anything were to happen I would kill him very much.

 Being fat and having to lose all this weight I’ve gained.

 Having people push their religion down our throats or try to do it to Kub. That is something I worry about when he starts getting older. I DO NOT want anyone trying to tell him how to grow up or tell me how to raise my child. I know Wade’s family will do this. (Mainly his mom and grandpa) I want to do things on my own and raise him the way I want to raise him, not the way other people tell me to. If I need advice I will come to you.

Things I hope will happen this year:

 Wade will either get a much better job or he will become full time and get a very big pay increase so I am not the one taking care of this family.

 Kub, Wade, and I (and the rest of the family) will be healthy. I hope that Kub will be a healthy strong little guy and nothing is wrong with him. I worry about this a lot.

 We will be financially okay. I worry about this day to day. I hope we can provide Kubrick with the best possible life and that we can pay all of our bills and still have food to eat.

Well that is about it I think. I hope we can survive this year better than we did last year.

So Much Drama

2009-11-18T17:12:00.000-08:00

As almost all of you know, Wade's mom and Dad are getting divocrced. Ugh and it has been the biggest mess ever. I always loved both of his parents (James and Wendy). Wendy was always so sweet and nice. And now I am almost to the point where I HATE her! She has completely turned 180 degrees and is the biggest freakin scumbag! She comes out of no where and tells James she wants a divorce. Blah blah blah, and she wants all of his money and wants him to pay for all of HER bills. He made a comparmise and said he will pay the morgage on the house and let her live there for free. (Me and Wade are going to move in with her and we will pay the cable, half of the internet, and utlities) And she refuses and is demanding James pay all of the other bills too. She also (before we had come to this agreement) wanted to squeeze $500 a month out of me and Wade to live in Holly's bedroom which is TINY! I was so pissed off because I know the morgage and the utilities are her biggest bills. And the only other bills she has to pay are HER phone bill, HER insurance, HER credit cards that are under her name, and Holly's insurance. Why the crap would she think he would pay for them? I don't know.
She is also demanding James to pay her allomony. She has 2 jobs right now and she has NO kids living with her. Holly will be 18 at the end of the year. She also went to the atterney and told him LIES!!!!! She told him James had verbally abused her their entire 23 year marriage. I again was so incrediblly pissed off. I even asked Wade if it was true (of course I hadn't grow up with him I wouldn't know but I know James would never do that) and he said no. He was a strict parent and of course he yelled at times but he never once put Wendy down or belittled her or the kids. So she is lying to try to get his money. And she is supossed to be this good Christian lady?? HA!
So to shorten the story a bit, Wendy has turned into a gold digging little wench and I am so depressed about this whole situation. I DO NOT want to move in with her. I freakin (almost) hate her! But James wants us to and so I will because it will help them and us but I am NOT HAPPY about it. I don't like Holly and don't want to live with either of them. They drive me nuts. UGHH! And I am just so upset about all of this. I don't want to have anything to do with any of her family (except her Grandparents. I love Great Grandma and Grandpa Marine). I don't want any of them in my life. (I like her real Dad and wouldn't mind seeing them every once and a while.) So I guess we will see what happens.

Tomorrow is Wendy's BDay and I was NOT HAPPY about having to buy her a birthday present. I almost didn't but I know I can't do that. I don't want to see her or talk to her or anything. I was just planning on texting her in the morning and letting Wade give her her present later that day. I really have no desire to see her or even try to make conversation with her. She's tried calling me a few times and I refuse to talk to her so I've been ignoring her calls. I don't care. Ugh, I wish this whole crap would end. I just am going to save up money for a new place and we will move out and we will take James's stuff with us and he can come and visit us any time he wants. NOT HAPPY : (

Remember?

2009-11-18T16:23:00.000-08:00

So just a reminder to everyone! I have a baby blog that I update more often than this. It is off to the side of this blog. Remember if you want to read it then add http://www.ambriasbaby.blogspot.com to your broser so you can see it and get upadted on stuff (like what I am having or whatever : )

I Am A Fatty

2009-10-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

So all my coworkers know how much of a fatty I am. One of them brought me a giant bag and set it next to me. I look inside and this is in it. 1 box of Oatmeal Creme Pies, 2 boxes of Zebra Cakes (which I LOVE) 2 boxes of Fall Party Cakes, 3 boxes of Cracker Jacks, 1 box of Swiss Rolls, 1 box of Ding Dongs, Halloween Oreos, 1 can of Pringles, big bag of Chex Mix, and 3 boxes of Peeps (variety). Yeah, can we say fatty? Haha. So now I have my bottom drawer of my filing cabnet is full of this candy. Oh I am in heaven and I feel like a huge fatty and I am too embarrassed to eat any of it : ) in front of people. But trust me, I will finish it all : )

Work=Boring

2009-10-03T20:44:00.001-07:00

We were going to go down to Vegas this weekend to go to that Tattoo convention. I was excited about it at first when it was just we were going to tag along but then it turned into ‘we HAVE to take them’. We didn’t have any money and I was worried about it because I figured they would make us pay for something. Wade finally talked to his mom and Jessie didn’t have any money so now we aren’t going to go. I am happy because when I learned that Nan and fam were coming down I wanted to stay (but then learned that we had to take them) and so I was kind of pissed. So I am glad Jessie didn’t have money because I am so happy we are staying. It was the worst weekend to go anyway. James is down now too (which is why Wendy couldn’t take them. She didn’t want to leave James here by himself). Anyway I am listening to my music as I am typing so sorry if some of this doesn’t make any sense and is kind of random and off. I am so glad that James is down. Oh I love his food : ) and I have been craving it for the longest time. He is making BBQ tonight. I hope he makes potatoes too. And asparagus J *Wishful thinking*

We had a little pizza party for all the bdays for Sep and Oct. I have been looking forward to it and I was thinking I would dig in and eat a ton. I got a skinny slice of sausage and a normal size piece of pineapple and ham. I couldn’t finish either. I don’t know why. And then they brought out the cupcakes and it was the BEST cupcake I have ever had! Oh yum!! Chocolate chocolate chip with a little more chocolate. Kevin came up to me and asked if I had gotten enough and I was in the middle in my cupcake and I said I could use another cupcake if I wasn’t so full and he went up and got me another cupcake : ) I am excited to eat it. And now we are talking about hair. Every Kevin I have ever known has been so nice and easy to get along with and they are all funny. (Kevin bro-in-law, Kevin cousin, Kevin ex-coworker, and now this Kevin coworker). I am going to like this job just because of the free food. I think it was last week we had a meeting with the insurance people and they brought pizza and we got free food too. And it’s Papa John’s not cheap crap like Little Ceazers (I love Little Ceazers pizza J). Which reminds me! At that insurance meeting they discussed benefits for new employees!! I am going to get on the benefits right away and I don’t have to wait 90 days!! WOOFREAKINHOO!!! They are going to just everyone get right onto the benefits and anyone who starts after October 1st will have to wait the 90 days. I just wish we could have done this meeting sooner. I have waited 30 days but that’s okay. The only sucky thing is that there is a $500 deductible (which isn’t bad) but it restarts in January so we are going to have to pay 2 deductibles. Which is fine. It’s better than paying $10,000. So I am happy that I don’t have to wait. I was hoping that we would get it soon (the insurance cards) so I could give it to the doctor on Tuesday but I don’t think I will get it that soon. I think it will take more than a week to process. I guess the meeting was this Monday so it will probably go onto our paychecks next week and soon after that I will get the card in the mail. I guess I can always call the doctor and set it up over the phone. That’s a good idea! One thing that made me feel good today was something Loyd wrote to me “Your consistency is impeccable.. This report has been a “hit and miss” report over the last several weeks.. is nice to see it come every Friday. Doing a GREAT job Ambria!!!” And then Aaron wrote an email saying keep up the good work soon after : ) Aawwhh!

Wade finally has an interview this Tuesday! Yay! The only sucky thing is that it’s up in Cedar. That would be a crappy commute! (Right Dad?) That’s a ton of gas! (Which sucks because he already goes through a ton of gas in the first place! Twice as much as me) They seemed really happy he called back so I hope if he does get it that they pay well. At least $10 would be great! That would help us pay all of our bills.

I had to go drop Wade off at his parents today and I was gone for a whole hour so I have to stay until 5 : ( I feel like today has been so long. It will be a 10 hour day. That’s okay. I am so excited for food tonight and to see the family tomorrow. I am *hopefully* going to wake up early and that way I can spend all day with them. But I will most likely go over at like 12. I am hoping mom will cut my hair next week. I am SO sick of it!! I am putting it up every day and I am just ready to grab a pair of scissors and cut it myself. It is almost 3:30 so I only have an hour and a half more! Woo! I am so happy! I got my iPod fixed somehow and so now I have MY music back on my iPod! Yay! It is nice to put in my headphones and listen to my music. It makes me not want to do some of my work (the kind where I have to call people and have my music out J). I guess I should get to work. I don’t really have anything to do. I have to wait for Staci to come back. I am so tired. I was going to take the food home from work (someone has been stealing food from the fridge) but I don’t want to have to take out everything I have. So far none of my food has been stolen but they (whoever is stealing food) have taken the expensive nice food. (A nice $7 sandwich, tons of Pepsi, and some frozen foods) I have cheep food (Top Ramen, $1 burrito, and 59 cent pot pie). So I don’t think someone would steal my food over the food they have. Hopefully. I wish I was able to go home at 4! That would be sweet! Oh well. Well I should probably go now. I should do some work…

Crazy Lady and Random Stuff

2009-09-27T13:35:00.000-07:00

So I went into the bathroom (They are public and you have to access them from the outside so pretty much anyone can just walk into them). When I come in, there is a lady there but me being shy I don’t really look at her I just quickly walk past into the stall. I notice a bag on the counter and bags in one of the stalls. I don’t think anything of it at first but while I am going I hear her rip off paper towels so I am thinking she is going to leave and such but she goes back into the stall. Weird. So I start thinking maybe this is a homeless lady just cleaning up or something. I come out and her bag that was on the counter was gone (in the stall with her). I try to peak under the stall to see if I can see anything but I just see bags (like a big purse and a blue bag and some other random stuff). I didn’t want to tell anyone just in case it was actually a worker and I am accusing her of being homeless. AKWARD!! So about a half hour goes by (maybe an hour) and some guy came in and says something about a crazy screaming lady yelling at Sara (a girl that works down here). I think maybe it’s her crazy ex husbands girlfriend or mom or something (she’s been having a lot of problems going on with her crazy ex husband lately). 15 more minutes pass and Staci comes back in (another girl) and tells me about the crazy lady in the bathroom. Humm… Is it the same lady? Yes. Staci was going to the bathroom and this lady just starts screaming (she is in the stall yelling). Staci thinks maybe she is just talking on the phone but this lady just won’t stop yelling so Staci hurries out and warns Sara not to go into the bathroom. Sara is talking on the phone and just starts going out to the parking lot when she hears this crazy lady screaming at her. She turns around and the lady is walking right for her. So she turns back around and keeps walking away towards her car. This lady is screaming at Sara and dropping F-Bombs and such (and she is yelling about nothing I guess. About bags or baskets or something). So the crazy lady eventually starts veering off to the other side of the parking lot but she is still screaming. Sara is hiding behind cars and the lady is trying to look for her (she must not have been able to find her) and she leaves. She is walking on the street and she is still screaming!! Haha. I get crazy ladies every place I work! I am just glad she didn’t start her screaming fest with me. I would have kind of freaked out. Hmm..

SO!! My new phone is cute and purple. Haha. It’s a Motorola which sucks. (They break easily. Well at least all of Holly’s Motorola’s have). Like I said in the last post (I think it was), the Verizon store by Target didn’t have any free or semi cheap phone and I was bummed out. I went in there again yesterday to really look at the pricing and the cheapest phone they had was $80 plus I’m sure it had activation fees (they had rebates but you still have to pay that up front and I don’t have that much money) and the phones were a piece of crap!! So I went to Costco (where I got my phone originally) and asked them what the cheapest phone they had. They only carried 4 phones but they had one for free!! (My phone) You don’t have to pay anything except the sales tax (which was less than $5). They give you a rebate for the activation fee (which goes on the next months bill) so I got a phone for $5!! I don’t have an active Costco card anymore (to get into Costco all you have to do is show your card but in order to actually pay for things you have to have an active card). So I called Wendy to see if I could use her card. Awesome. I am so glad I finally have a phone. MY OWN PHONE! I am moving up in the world : ) Haha.

Today has been dragging on SO LONG!! I am so tired and I just want to go to bed. I don’t want to take a nap because I will not be able to sleep but I don’t want to go to bed at 7. That’s what I hate about these hours. I am at work all day long and it feels like I am going to bed only 2 hours after I get home. (which isn’t true but that’s what it sounds like) I am so super bored and I am not hungry but I want to make food to help pass the time. Haha. I am trying to do everything slow so the time will go by faster. I wrote down a page or two about just random thoughts and now this. And I swear there has not even been an hour go by. I still have 2 more hours until I get off work. Actually 2 ½ or 3 hours. I swear it was 3 hours like 2 hours ago. I hate these days where I don’t have anything to do. I am just waiting on people to call or email me. There is a meeting tomorrow and I wish it was for today!! I wish it were Friday because I am ready for some days off. I am feeling kind of sick today. Woke up with another headache. Nothing too bad or serious. But it won’t go away. I need more clothes for work. I have 4 shirts that are okay to wear to work but the rest (that I HAVE to wear) are so horrible and don’t fit me and are so ugly and not really work appropriate. I was going to get some this week but somehow we don’t have money. Again. I want to go to bed. I wish I had my own little cubicle so I could play on my iPod during these times. I also wish my iPod had music on it. Somehow my music got erased off of it and I’ve tried putting it back on but it won’t work. So I have one song (that I bought off iTunes off my iPod) which is The Moody Blues – Tuesday Afternoon. I use to have The Offspring – Kristy, Are You Doing Okay? (another one I just bought straight off the iPod) but when I tried putting my music onto it, it erased it too. So I have been using Wade’s iPod at work but I couldn’t find it today. Which is why I am writing a blog post and whining instead of doing something more productive. (Well if I had something productive to do) I just feel like crap today. I am so freakin tired and my head is still bugging me. Wade keeps trying to tell me I need to talk to the doctor about my migraines (which I have been planning on doing when I see her) but I don’t think there is anything I can take (besides Tylenol). Plus I don’t know if I would even take anything. I have a hard time even taking Tylenol which is totally fine to take I am just weird like that.

My pants I am wearing are too tight on my big belly. Both of the buckles are undone on my pants. Hehe. I got work to do for a second there and now I am back to doing nothing. WOWOWOWOWOOO!! Only 1 more hour and 15 minutes. YES!!! I am so excited! Screw it. I am going to bed at 7 tonight. I have also decided I HATE WEDNESDAYS!!!! Haha and Tuesday mornings! 2 Garbage truck guys come. One at like 5 and the next at like 7. They are so loud and always wake me up. Almost done now! Yipee : )

New Phone

2009-09-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

Just realized I had my phone number out and open to the public for everyone to see. Don't want to do that!!! OOPS!

Random Business REMEMBER MY NEW PREGNANCY BLOG IS WWW.AMBRIASBABY.BLOGSPOT.COM

2009-09-21T16:30:00.001-07:00

I am hoping to get a new phone. I hate not having a phone anymore!! My phone has become Wade’s phone. He forgets to tell me when someone calls or texts and I randomly look through the inbox and see Kali or someone texted me 3 days ago. So sorry if I don’t call back or text back : ) It’s either Wade forgetting to tell me or me forgetting to actually call back. I went into the Verizon store next to Target and NO phones were free. The cheapest was $20 but that was after a rebate. And I have to pay for the set up fees and other crap. I went into Best Buy and they had free phones with a 2 year agreement. I don’t know if I can get it for free because I am just adding onto a plan. So I am going to go to Costco (which is where I got my phone originally) and hope they will let me add a new phone for free. I only paid for the sales tax on the phone when I got it and I think I paid like $30 for the activation but it was a rebate and got it back. The phone we have was over $100 (before the rebate) at the Verizon store by Target and I got it for free at Costco (No rebates or anything). I also looked online at the Verizon store and they have phones for free so if I can’t find anything around town I might just get one from there.

So at work they gave me 11 Merchant Accounts to run ON MY OWN! AAAHHH!! The other 2 girls who have been here forever have 2 or 3. EEKKK! But their accounts are really big accounts and mine are smaller but still I am freaking out a bit. Just a bit. Just because I have no idea what I am doing and I am spending my days playing around and writing my shopping lists and my blog updates because I don’t have anything else to do. They are so busy with their accounts and don’t have time to show me how to do anything. It is 1 and I am going to be leaving at 3:30 so I don’t have much longer! WOO!! Oh and I am so freakin happy!! I got PAID TODAY!!! I only got paid for 3 days of work but I got $265!! WOOOHOO! $100 to Wendy (for Wade’s car) $100 to Insurance and $65 to phone bill. Yay. I have 95 cents to spend! Hehe. I am glad to be getting paid every week instead of twice a month. The only thing that sucks about this is that I was use to being able to pay rent with one pay check instead of having to have to save for it. I am hoping to get paid at least $440 after tax so I will have $40 a week to spend on food. Next month will be better when I get money I can spend every week that way I can pay my bills on time instead of having to wait until the 5th or the 20th to pay bills.

Me, Wade, Wendy, Holly, and Holly’s bf Jessie are going to go to a tattoo convention on the 2nd. I am so excited! I always wanted to go to one!! Don’t hate me (Mom and Dad) but I am so looking forward to getting one. I decided once Peanut is born then I am going to get my tattoos. I have 3 ideas. I only have one finished idea and the other two are close to being finished. (P.S. Peanut=Baby I am sick of having to say the baby, Peanut is much easier) (Jessie wants to become a tattoo artist and that’s why we are going.) I had one idea and have tried making it perfect in my head before even talking to an artist and it’s been 3 years since I first came up with the idea and I am finally almost done. I have always waited on getting it because of James. I just recently decided that I am getting it once Peanut is born. He HATES tattoos. Wade still has never told his dad about it. He waited about a year before he told his mom about it and he still hasn’t told his dad yet. We went down to Cali awhile back ago and Wade’s cousin got a small tattoo on her wrist (just a word in Italian) and he FREAKED!! It is not even his own kid and he freaked out. Which is why I haven’t gotten one yet. I want mine on my wrists. I don’t want them anywhere else. They are for me (a reminder) and I want to actually see them which is one of the reasons why I choose the wrists. I never wear sleeveless shirts so it would be pointless to get one on my back or upper arms. Again, I want this for me and I want to be able to see it. I almost never wear shorts and I hate my legs so I would never get any on my legs either. People (including Wade) have tried talking me out of the wrists but I’ve made up my mind. James will just have to deal with it. I am just really worried about showing/telling him about it but it’s going to happen so I better get this over with. So yes, I am planning on getting 3 (as of right now) tattoos. I have always wanted sleeves SO bad! But I figured I would never get them because I would be too chicken

But I would love to have sleeves. Which is why I am so okay with the 2 wrist tattoos. My 3rd will probably be somewhere different. I haven’t decided quite what it’s going to be or where I want it. Another year in the making.

I have been writing this for like an hour and a half or so…. Maybe I should get to work. Oops. If I had something to do….

15 Weeks (A few Days Late)

2009-09-21T16:25:00.001-07:00

I have still been sick this week. I keep thinking it’s going to get better because I am now in the 2nd trimester (which is when they say you are supposed to get better) and I think it’s gotten worse. Some days it’s not bad but it seems like every day I feel sick a few times during the day : ( Today I woke up with a headache so I took a bath instead of a shower and ate an apple and played the NEW Professor Layton game that Colin’s mom let me borrow and felt better. So I went to work and got sick twice and I thought maybe I was going to have a migraine or something but it got better and I ate some Top Ramen and a Pepsi (which I have been really into lately) and now I don’t feel so crappy. When I get sick or feel sick I always think I am getting sick and am getting what everyone is getting (that 24 hour flu thing) and I never think “Oh this is just M/S”. Even though it’s been only M/S this whole time. I am just hoping it will get better and GO AWAY!!

I had the most wonderful dream two nights ago. I had my little baby GIRL! Haha. She was a cutie and she kind of had chubby checks and it was a good dream. It is the first time I had a dream about the baby. Then last night I had a dream that a had a boy but he looked exactly like Tegan (Kassie and Spence’s baby). I liked the first dream better. Both really weird dreams. So I decided I am going to make a new page for the baby updates because they are more for me. So I am going to give you the link. THE NEW LINK IS http://www.ambriasbaby.blogspot.com So make sure to star that site because from now on that is where I am going to be posting these blogs.

I am also going to really add my belly pics. If I ever freakin take them. I keep forgetting. I want to take them at the same time everyday (in the morning before I eat and my belly is huge) but I keep forgetting. So I have one from like 12 weeks and some odd day and that’s it. I will start taking them and posting them soon. Maybe. Who knows….

Earlier in the pregnancy I said that my skin was super dry and was flaking off on my back. Well now it’s in the freakin weirdest place. My inner left ear. Haha. I don’t know if it’s pregnancy related but it is the weirdest thing. It is like I got a sunburn in my ear and now it’s peeling. Sorry this is gross but I am peeling off the skin in my ear. Haha. It’s nasty. Should I put lotion in it? Haha. When we went to the doctors she hear the heartbeat on the left side. I have been feeling like (this is kind of hard to explain) little stretches in my muscles on my left side and I figure that’s Peanut moving around. Sometimes when I get up and drink something cold and eat I feel that area … stretching? Maybe that’s not the best way to describe it. It feels like (to be blunt) my uterus is stretching (in the left side mostly) and I just figure it’s Peanut waking up and stretching and moving around. I can’t wait until it is real defined kicks that I can feel and even see.

**UPDATE** 15 Weeks 3 Days - I was feeling Peanut move around last night. So cute!

14 Weeks 2nd Trimester Finally!!

2009-09-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

Nothing new is happening this week. The baby is now about the size of a lemon or about the size of a fist. She’s growing fast! I am starting to feel so much better also. My appetite has for sure come back!! Everything I see I want to eat. Even things that I wouldn’t normally like. So hopefully now I won’t gain too much weight. My life is so boring right now. Work is boring. And all I do is work it feels like. I feel like I don’t ever get enough sleep. I worked crazy crappy hours at the hotel but at least I was able to sleep at least 8 hours a night (on almost every night) and I just feel like I don’t get any sleep anymore. I don’t know why. Waking up at 10 is a lot better than 8 even if you get the exact same number of hours per night. I am so sick of working here. Which sucks because I just started and if I hate it already I am going to just hate it more when I actually get into it. No one is explaining anything to me. They just throw things at me and expect me to figure it all out on my own. Whatever. It has taken me all day to add a few items to a word sheet. Haha if they wanted it done right they should have explained it to me. I just wish I was back working at the carwash or heck even the hotel would be better if I could get benefits! I’m sorry. I just am so bored and I feel like a drone. I don’t want to do this stuff. I wish I would have looked into this better before I got myself into this. I just have to keep thinking about the benefits and getting paid every week and getting more money. It’s worth it right? I have to wait 2 weeks before I get paid and my first pay check is only going to be for 3 day so that is going to suck super bad because I have so many bills that need to be paid. I just wish someone would sit down with me and say “This is what you have to do and this is how you do it”. Ugh! Can you tell I am so ready to be done with this day!! I just need a few weeks off. I am so sick of working and being responsible! I hope I can be done soon today.

Random

2009-09-09T18:40:00.002-07:00

Wade got deathly sick the other day. He got sick around 2 in the morning and was throwing up all night long. I knocked out around 1 and didn’t wake up all night long. He must have not wanted to wake me up because his blanket and everything was on the couch. He didn’t sleep all night long and woke me up around 9 and was still throwing up. I felt so bad for him. I was shocked that he was actually throwing up food still after so long. He was so sore all day long and his whole body hurt after throwing up for so long. I was and still am terrified of getting this sickness. He has been better. After he was able to sleep for an hour he was able to keep down some liquids and he kept trying to get sleep and felt better. He felt sick but wasn’t throwing up. That was on Sunday that he got sick. So it’s Tuesday and I have been feeling fine so I am hoping that I won’t get it. I haven’t kissed him since Sunday. Except today. It was an accident. I forgot he has been sick. It was after the doctor visit. So I am really hoping I don’t get it. It may have been food poisoning. I thought it was like a 24 hour flu thing because his friend got sick the day before and maybe Wade got it from him. But I haven’t gotten it yet so it may just have been food poisoning. He ate a lamb steak a little bit before we went to bed. So who knows. I am just taking my vitamins and eating my fruits so… I am at work right now and I am just waiting on people to get back to me and I decided I should make a quick update. I have a meeting today in a few minutes. Let’s hope it takes a long time!!

Update-I was starting to feel sick last night (one day after writing this). I have yet to throw up. I have been feeling sick all day until I was driving home and eating some pringles. I am now feeling better with just little hints of sickness every once and a while. I just hope it continues to get better!!

Doctor Visit 13 Weeks 4 Days

2009-09-09T18:40:00.001-07:00

So I had another doctors visit today. I didn’t know what to expect. The doctor came in and commented on me losing weight and I told her my morning sickness has been pretty bad but it is getting better. She checked for a heartbeat and found one and we were able to hear his little heartbeat for a while. A few weeks ago I went to get 4 viles of blood taken and a urine sample to see if I still had a bladder infection and I got the results back in the mail the other day. I don’t have a bladder infection and everything looks good. I am 0 Negative and I am also RH Negative. I have to get a shot at around week 28 so my body doesn’t attack my baby or something like that. I guess everyone is either RH positive or few of us are RH Negative. If Wade is RH positive then our baby has the chance of being RH positive and I guess my body can attack her body if she is positive. It’s kind of weird and confusing and I didn’t read the whole pamphlet on being RH negative. So pretty much I just need to get a shot around week 28 and after the baby is born. So I asked the doctor about that and she just told me it’s nothing to worry about and that I am going to get a shot. Then she left. Kind of shocked me at how quick the visit was. It didn’t last more than 5 minutes. So everything sounded good. We will find out at week 21 what the baby is. I can’t wait. It’s only 2 more months : ) Which is forever away. I am going into my 2nd trimester this Friday. Woop! I am all ready feeling better. My morning sickness has eased and now it’s only in the mornings right when I first wake up that I feel sick. So I just have to throw up and then eat something and I’m good. Every once and a while I will get a wave of sickness but it usually goes away pretty fast. Now everything sounds good to me. I watch the Food Network and everything they show I want to eat. So right now I am craving some ribs smothered in BBQ sauce. Yum! Sounds so good!

New Job

2009-09-07T12:42:00.000-07:00

So I quit my job at the hotel and now I am working for a company called iWorks. Right now I have only been here 3 days so I am still not very familiar with anything at all. It is not what I expected. I thought it was going to be pretty easy to catch on and pretty laid back job like the hotel but I was so freakin wrong. Haha. I have no idea what everyone is talking about. I sat in on a meeting yesterday and had no idea of what the crap they were talking about. Ohly crap I don’t know what I got myself into. The first day I spent the whole day reading websites. They are the sites that this company sells. And it took all day and I quickly skimmed through them. (There was only 3 sites) Yesterday I started with setting up mail boxes for the company in other states. Yesterday was Delaware and today I am trying to finish those and start on California and Nevada. Ugh I am so bored and have nothing to do right now. I am just trying to finish up this hour so I can go on lunch. And I have nothing to do so I decided to write this and then email it to myself and that way I can actually make a post today. The fax machine is retarded and takes an hour to send a fax so I am still waiting on that so I can finish these Delaware mail boxes. I am going to be doing this all next week also and I am almost done with it. So I am trying to take a long time so I can push it as long as possible. This is so boring. I have no internet any more. Well I do but I can’t use it which sucks super bad. And there wifi doesn’t work on my ipod either so I can’t get on the internet here : ( That sucks! I am use to going on the internet for 8 hours to pass my time at work. Now I actually have to do work : ( Poop. 12:30 I just need to wait 30 more minutes and then I can go. Well I could go now but I just want to take my lunch at 1 that way my day is half over. Stupid yesh. Well I better get back to work and actually do something. Have fun!

P.S. I am hoping that when they move me over to actually doing merchant accounts that it’s funner and less boring. I am hoping they will do that soon!!!!!!

13 Weeks (A Few Days Late)

2009-09-07T12:40:00.001-07:00

This past week has been pretty crappy. If it’s not morning sickness it’s a migraine. I have had 3 or 4 migraines in this last week. It’s been miserable. I get bad M/S one day and the next I get a migraine. I’m sure I’ve lost even more weight because of it. I have not been able to keep much down this past week. I have my next visit with the doctor on Tuesday I think and I am kind of excited. I wish we could have an ultra sound. I hate waiting! I just want to be able to see him! I am excited to be able to hear him at least. I’ll let you guys know how everything goes. I think I am getting a belly also. It’s getting more noticeable. What do you guys think?

I think I felt the baby move again last night. I was laying down and it kind of felt like little swishes… kind of like there is a little fish swimming around in there : ) Not much else has been going on this week. I quit my job and Sunday was my last day. I am hoping for a giant pay check and that way I can pay more than just my rent with this check. Hopefully!!

12 Weeks 2 Days - Possible Movement?

2009-08-30T15:08:00.000-07:00

Last night I was at work and I felt this little pop or something way down low. It was definately not gas. Gas has always been in my stomatch not down low. It was below the top of pants which are pretty low under my belly button. I am hoping it was the baby. I can't really descibe how it felt. Weird little pops or itty bitty pokes. It went away after 30 seconds. I am reading on baby center about how most of them has felt it around 13-15 weeks (some earlier). I know the baby is super small and it just barely popped out from under my pubic bone but I really think it was the baby. If never felt anything like it and never any kind of movement that low before. I am thinking and sticking to it that it was our little guy. He's all ready strong (showing us his heart beat so early) and now this. I am looking forward to seeing the doctor next week and asking her where the baby is so I can see if I am right or not. I just want to cry thinking I've felt him so early.

12 Weeks

2009-08-27T23:19:00.000-07:00

I am finally coming to the end of the horrible 1st trimester. My M/S has eased up and I have only had it about twice this past week. So I am hoping it will be done and over within the next two weeks or sooner. We finally came up with both names and we love them. I am glad we finally came up with a boy name. I really thought we wouldn't have a boy name and with our luck that's what we'd have. I bought the first baby item this week. I couldn't pass it up. It's a brown shirt with a green peace sign with little blue smiley faces inside the sign. It's a little boyish but I think if I got a blue bow to put in her hair it would work for a girl too. (Just incase it is a girl) It was on sale and they only had 2 left and I really wanted it. I can't wait until I can feel her kicking. I have had twinges and I have to tell myself it's not the baby it's something else because I know there's no way it's her yet. I just can't wait until I can know for sure.
I have been very emotional this week. That's definately not easing up on me. I have been super depressed about nothing and then I'm fine. I have been one huge ... Jerk. I just noticed that my stupid boss just hired a freakin guy to work the night shifts on the weekend!!! Oh I am so pissed off!!! I am so glad to be done with this place and with Darwin. He makes me so angry. Oh well. I'm glad Wade wouldn't have to work here and put up with all this crap. Whatever.

Some things I know I want for sure- a pack and play, a diaper bag, a carrier (you can wear your baby in front of you), and a car seat (duh obviously) that can hold up to 100 pounds. They are more expensive but it's worth it because you don't have to buy a new one when they get older. These things I am going to buy before the babys born. I know I am going to have a crib. I've had a few people offer me theirs. And I know I will get clothes. So these things I am for sure going to save up money and buy. I will add links in soon so you can see which ones I've picked out. I saw some cute diaper bags at Target that were awesome. They came with so much stuff. The pack and play has a little sleeper for newborns. It cuddles them in so they sleep better. Plus it has a changing table on it. It's pretty cool. I've seen car seats that go up to 100 pounds but I haven't really looked in depth at them. I wanted a stroller that came with a car seat but I figured it's more worth it this way. I don't need to stroller if I have a carrier. I can just strap her in and walk all over the place. Plus I know it helps put them to sleep. Britin always wore one with Emery. Everytime I would see her she was sleeping. When I baby sat when Emery was younger she fell alseep almost insatntly when I was walking around. So those are just a few things I for sure want to get.
I am glad to be done with this place. I am glad I am going to have a normal schedule from now on and I can acctually sleep with Wade : ) All though I'll probablly go to bed way earlier than he does. At least I can be home at night and have a normal sleeping schedule. Yes!!! So I am hoping that everything goes good for this next week. I hope my new job goes okay and is not too stressful or hard to get. I hope my M\S gets better and I won't have to run to the bathroom on my first day of work. We'll see.

New Job

2009-08-21T02:44:00.000-07:00

I put in my 2 weeks notice today. Aaron got me a new job that pays (starting out) $12 an hour and after 90 days you get benifits and you can get about $14-15 an hour depending on if you are doing good. What I am going to be doing is setting up merchant accounts. People join the company and we set up their accounts and charge their card and stuff. I am not 100% sure what I am going to be doing but it sounds okay. I wish Wade could have been the one to get this new job and not me. I don't want to have to start all over. I hate starting new jobs. I finally feel comfortable here and now I'm moving. Ugh. Plus it would have been nice to have Wade working over there anyway. We could have full benifits and I could maybe take off some time after the babys born but if he doesn't find a good paying job before this kid is born then I am going to have to rush my recovery and head straight back to work which I don't want to do. That is going to be very hard on me. I'm sure this job will be better though. I am sure I will get lunches and maybe even a break during the day : ) Plus it's only 4 blocks from my house so it's not too far. The guy I talked to seemed nice and seemed like they treat their emplyees nice which is way more than I can say about the hotel. I asked Darwin (my boss as of right now) if I ever got a different job if Wade could work here and he pretty much said no. He doesn't like having guys working here. Even though he has a gay guy working here currently he doesn't like to have guys working here? He said he'd talk to Cindy (his wife) and let me know. I doubt it though. Which is lame and sucks. So I am hoping to be done with this job by the end of this month so I can just start on next month. I guess we'll see how it goes.

11 Weeks

2009-08-21T02:29:00.000-07:00

This past week has been better. My morning sickness has gotten better. But I've been getting headaches for the past week. Today some stupid loud kids were driving me nuts as they were playing on the computer and my small headache turned into a migraine just an hour after being here. It came on quick and I've been in the bathroom almost all night. I've been having to run in there every 10 or so minutes. It is so exausting. My whole body is worn out and I can barely keep my eyes open. I am so miserable right now. It's 3:33 am and I only have 3&1/2 more to go. I hope I can make it that long. My whole body is so tired. I just want to go to bed. There is nothing left in me but my body keeps thinking there is and I'm still having to run to the bathroom every 10 minutes to dry heave. Ugh. So miserable. Other than this it's been an okay week. Britin offered to give me her crib when Emerys done with it. So that's cool. Nothing much has been new this week. Just the same old stuff.

A Quick Update

2009-08-15T23:55:00.001-07:00

Soon I am going to maybe do the belly week by week to see how much it grows. What do you think about that? It might not happen though. I never have my camera and I am not sure I even have a plug to plug it in the computer but I was just wondering your thoughts on it.
It's a very slow night. None of my normal people updated their sites : ( and even Y!A is slow. There is only about 1 question every 5 minutes. I only brought one movie and I only have like a half hour left on it and I was hoping to save it for around 3am but I don't know if I can last that long. I am just going a big crazy right now.

Pigs In A Blanket

2009-08-15T02:51:00.000-07:00

So it's been kind of a crazy exciting night here at the hotel. I checked someone in to room 120 late at night. (1am) An hour goes by and the guy says that some drunk guy knocked on their door and was talking about some city and blah blah blah. He said it was a taller guy with blonde hair. A few minutes later the guy (blonde hair guy) comes and sits down on the couch. He's waiting for a friend. So I figure a friend is going to pick him up and he'll leave. Well he leaves but I don't know where. The guy calls back and said that 118 (the room right next to them) is bing loud and is waking up their kids. I of course feel bad and I call 118 and tell them to be quiet. They say okay and it's left at that. A while later 120 calls back and is saying 118 is now banging on the walls. Ugh. So I go down to see if they are being loud and yes. They were. I could clearly hear a few people talking in the room as I was out in the hall. So I go back to the front desk and I have to make the hard decision. Wait it out or move them to a different room at 3 in the morning. I hate confrontation and I waited about 20 minutes before actually calling them. I told them a few rooms had complained about them being loud and he was nice about it. He said it was bs because he wasn't being loud but he'll move anyway. Haha. Okay you weren't being loud. That drunk blonde guy went into their room and I figures they were drinking. So he comes up to the front desk to get his keys and as he is up at the desk 120 calls and says that they have been banging on the walls still and that he is getting pissed off. I tell him that I moved the other people upstairs and they shouldn't bug him anymore. The 118 guy comes back down to the front desk and says it's bs they weren't loud. I just say I'm sorry but I had a few complaints from different rooms (I know I am a liar too : ) And that I had no other choice but to move him. He just kept going on about how they weren't partying in there and they were only watching a movie and they did have "a cocktail but we weren't having a keg or anything". Haha. So I just say okay I'm sorry. I know he was lying to me. I heard them and yes they were being loud. I would take the word of a father over the word of a drunk. And yes. I could smell the "one cocktail" on his breath. And the counter is about 2-3 feet away from where I am standing.
Anyways. So time goes by 120 calls back and I let him know that they are up on the third floor and they won't bother him anymore. I told them if they come down and bang on his door again I will call the cops and have them kicked out. So time goes by and I see a cop car drive up. Instinctivally (yeah I can't spell) my stomatch drops like I did something wrong even though I know why he was called. So he comes in and talks to me for a hit and this guy (that I knew was in 118) comes in and I wisper that this guy was in 118. The cops talks to him and he said the blonde guy was super drunk and that he just went to go take him home. He was the one banging on the walls and was being loud. He said that he was coming back for the other 2 girls to take them home too. (P. S. I forgot to mention that the 118 guy said there was only him and his two friends and his dog in the room) So I was right. The 118 guy did lie to me. He had maybe 5 people in the room plus a dog. And yes they were being loud and banging on the walls. And yes. They were drinking. Ha! So the cop checked out around 120 and it was silent (even though 120 said they were still being loud after I moved them). So that was my fun for the night.

My sickness was better today and I was able to eat the salad from yesterday. Although the rice was so so salty. It's weird because it wasn't yesterday but I couldn't eat the rice and beans part. I had to just pick at the lettuce and pick of the rice. Haha that's how salty it was : ) Wade brought home some stuff that John got is from the fair. One of them was a little pin that had babys feet on it. And Wade got all excited and said this is how big the babys feet really are at 10 weeks. Oh!!! So cute!! John just got it for us not knowing I was actually 10 weeks along. They are so tiny : ) I could barely fit the pin in between my fingers. They are so cute. So we are going to buy a baby book and put the feet pin in there. Wade was all excited about it tonight. It was fun. I have met 2 people on Yahoo Answers who are due about the same time as me. It's fun talking to pregnant people about what's going on. They were having the same stuff I was going through and it's fun to just have someone to talk to. I wish they were real friends : ) so I could actually know them in person and we could be pregnant friends together. And before you fewak out mom-they do not know my name or have any access to any info. They can push a button on my profile that they can email me but they don't know my email address and they won't. So don't worry. I'm not stupid enough to give them any of that or meet in person or whatever. So don't freak : ) Well I should probablly watch this movie so we can get it back to John. I wish it was Sunday morning so oh wait.... I can't sleep this Sunday so it doesnt matter. Never mind : )

10 Weeks = Miserable

2009-08-14T03:12:00.000-07:00

Wow. Last week I was feeling so great. My morning sickness was getting a bit easier and it wasn't really happening very much. Since I hit 9 weeks I have just been miserable. Morning sickness every day and the past few days have sucked. I need to do so much (wash clothes and clean) but I haven't because I feel so crappy. I had to force myself out today so I could pay the insurance and get my registartion done finally. I have been getting headaches for the past few days and major mood swings. And right now I have horrible sickness and hiccups and they don't mix well with each other. Yuck. I am just glad that the night is almost done with and I can get home and sleep. I bought a salad from Durangos and I've been kind of craving it for a while now so I decided to get it tonight. And not even 5 minutes later I was in the bathroom throwing it up. Makes me mad. I spent money on something I can't eat. I better have Wade eat it for me. My skin has become more itchy and dry also. It's nasty.
We traded Wendy for her bed because she was getting a new one and it was bigger than ours and we thought it was more comfy. Turns out it's like 10 years old and is almost as stiff as a board. When we were pulling out our mattress it was almost twice the size of hers width wise. Ours had so much padding and cousioning and hers is just springs. I am not sure how I feel about it yet. I am still trying to decide. It is bigger than ours. I am now able to roll over to the middle of the bed and not push Wade off. (which I've noticed I've done for the past few nights). Also I have been having to get up in the middle of the night to pee. Makes me angry too. I thought since I was 10 weeks and that hasn't happened yet that it wouldn't or it would come way later. Nope. I hate waking up in the night for anything. It takes me forever to go back to bed. The other night I think it took me almost an hour to go back to bed. So that's what's been new this week. I am hoping this 10 weeks will be good to me like week 8 was. I just want to be able to feel okay again. I think my sickness is worse when I do the night shifts too. I have been such a grouch too. I get angry at almost every customer that calls or comes up to the front desk. I know I'm not being nice to them and I don't really care. If they want to complain to someone they can. I'm not rude but I'm not nice either. I don't smile or chit chat with them like I use to. I just can't pull that crap off anymore. Most of the time I want to strangle everyone so I guess it's good that I am at least talking to them. I still give most people a choice of what floor they want. So that's a good thing right? Haha. Oops. So sorry if I've been short or pissy with you. Wow. This post is all over the place. I don't really remember where I was going with any of this.
Uummm.... So I guess that's it for now. I am hoping the second trimester eases off me. I am hoping my sickness will get better by then or at hopefully be gone by then. That would be so nice. Only 2 more weeks before we'll see. Have a good night. I might update more later. We'll see.

9 Weeks + First Doctors Visit

2009-08-07T22:18:00.000-07:00

This week my sence of smell has kicked in full force. I can smell everything. I can smell the stinky breath of someone at the table next to me and the meat Wade cooked from two days ago. It's miserable. The smell if one guys deodorant makes me want to puke which is hard to work with because I have guests come up to the front desk and that's all I smell. I have to hold my breath until they leave and run into the back room to gulp fresh air. Haha. I joke that I'm like mom now. I hold my hand under my nose just like she does when she smells perfume.
My morning sickness comes and goes. Today it was pretty bad. Yesterday I didn't have it at all. I am glad I don't get it everyday like I use to. Not much else is new this week. It's pretty much the same. I have learned that I can not stand or work on my feet for longer than 4-5 hours. It kills my back. My back is so hurty right now. I woke up too early today and didn't take a long enough nap.

So... As most of you already know, we had our first visit with the doctor today. I woke up at 7:30 this morning so I could get ready before I had to be there (@ 8:40). I was really bummed out yesterday because I asked a question on Yahoo Answers and people told me that there was no way I could hear the heartbeat this early and the doctor wouldn't even try. I was so depressed. That is what I've looked forward to doing this whole time because I knew I could only afford one ultrasound. So I figured this visit is just to get proded and poked and that on my next visit I could hear it. I have also been super freaked out that something was wrong and that I may have had a missed miscarriage which is so common. (Where the baby stops growing but you don't pass it. You never know until they can't find a heartbeat or they can't detect anything on an ultrasound.) So I was even more scared about this visit. The whole time we were sitting in the waiting area and the doctors room I was so sick. I didn't know if it was from the morning sickness or my nerves. I had to fan my face and suck on my pregnancy pop drops so I wouldn't get sick. The nurse came in and took all the info down. Then gave me the dreaded pink paper gown thing to put on. I rushed to get my clothes off before someone walked in on me and ended up waiting for 10 minutes for the doctor to come in. Haha. She was super nice. She asked about my smoking and I told her that I stopped right when I found out (5 weeks ago today) and she was so happy and excited. She said something like Wow. Good for you that's awesome you were able to do that. I was so uncomfortable but she made me feel pretty okay. She checked me and I noticed something black with a handle on it. It kind of looked like a speaker with a microphone on it. I started to get excited. Maybe that's what a dopler looks like : ) She said she wanted to see if we could hear the heartbeat today. Yay!!! I still had everyones answers in the back of my head that told me it was too early and we wouldn't be able to hear it. She pushed down really hard on my tummy and moved it around and I heard my heartbeat which I thought was the baby and yes-my heart skipped until she said and that's yours. She kept shoving that thing further onto my belly and it hurt. I heard something and thought it was mine until she said op! I think that was it. She moved it around more and we found the heartbeat : ) I have one (that we heard) strong baby in there. It's already working harder than the normal baby : ) She did the rest of her tests which was a little miserable but bearable. Then we were sent on the way. If we pay this off by January (or Febuary I forget which) then we get a $350 discount. That would mean paying over $400 a month. Ouch. So for X-Mas we are asking for only money so we can pay off this doctors bill hopefully by then. I would have loved getting baby stuff for X-Mas but this is more important. So if you have my name ; ) We would really enjoy just money. Thanks. I just figured out that we are going to find out what it is by the end of October : ) Cool. I will probablly have my visit on my 21st week which would make it the last Friday in october.
Some other things ive just thought of that I've had come up this last week have been gas and itchy dry skin. The other day Wade said it looked like my back got sunburned and my skin was peeling off. I rubbed it but not a lit came off. A few days later I felt my back and looked at my hands and they had so much dead skin on them. Sorry I know that's super gross. But I've been super itchy lately too. My neck and back and my main spots. Also my legs have been really itchy. Weird. And I've always been gassy but since getting pregnant I haven't had much gas. The past few days have been worse though. Haha. Sorry.
So now I feel better about everything. I feel like this is going to be okay and I am more excited than nervous now. Yay : ) I'll post more later.

More Car Crap

2009-08-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

This month our registartion was due and it wasn't too bad. Only $140. All the car problems started up and I figured I should fix that before I get my safety done. Well the day after we replaced the spark plugs (which was the day I was going to bring it in to get a safety) a giant crack appeared in the windsheild. We have had about 3-4 tiny chips in the window for almost 3 years now so I figured they have never cracked on us before they probablly won't do it now. I never even thought about them because they've pretty much always been there. Well one day (the best day for this to happen too) I get off work and drive home to go change my shoes before I go to get the safety done. When I get home I shut off the car and notice this huge giant crack in the window. So I had to have this window replaced before I could get the safety. I (luckily) saved some money for the registration and had to use almost all of that to pay for the window. Wendy tells Wade that the DMV will give you an extention for the tags. So I am hesitant but I start to get excited because if we were to lay for the tags and the safety we would have exatly $0 for food and gas. So I drive to the DMV and they tell me that it's a 15 day extention to get your safety. So I ended up having to pay the rest of my money I had to the tags. Us we had to use some money that we had on Wades card. So we now have $0 for gas and food anyway. (The insurance was due today and they take that off Wades card so the rest of the money we had on that went to insurance). Isn't that just great? It could have waited 1 day to crack and we would be fine! We could have had money for food and for the doctors next week. I have been so stressed about money. I was planning on using some of that money I saved for the doctors visit so we could start paying it off. My check next week will all go to rent. We probablly won't have amy extra. So hopefully the doctor doesn't require a payment each visit.
They kind of cut my hours back a bit. I am a tiny bit pissed but kind of glad. I am still getting 80 hours a pay check but now it's only 4 days a week one week and 5 the next. I was glad at first because I get 3 days off in that one week but then I started to think about it's not really "full time". Our pay checks aren't 2 weeks apart they are the 1st - the 15th and the the 16th - the last day of the month. So I should have 88 hours a pay check. That would make me full time. Oh well. At least as I am getting 80 hours. We get that extra "commision" so that helps. ($1 for every walk in or reservation unless you get them for rack rate then you get $1.50) I will gladly welcome 3 days off every other week. That will be nice. I am feeling very sick right now. I think I am done writting for the night. I will update next week and let you know how many heart beats we hear.

8 Weeks - Lots Of Throw Up

2009-08-01T00:11:00.000-07:00

Not much is new this week either. I have been on antibiotics for a bladder infection and I am finally done with them : ) Yay!! I have noticed my sickness is worse in the morning and late at night. Always when my stomatch is empty. I usually throw up (actually dry heave) when I wake up and then I am able to eat something and be fine for the rest of the day (as long as I continue to eat). I ate some Chef Boyardee yesterday and it was so nasty! Haha. I couldn't finish it and 7 hours later I had to throw up and there it was still in my stomatch. I had to hold in my puke so I wouldn't have to throw up that nasty greesy crap. Today has been pretty bad. I threw up and I couldn't stop. It really wears you out. I slept for an extra 2&1/2-3 hours and I am so exasuted. I want to go home and be done with these night shifts.
My emotions have been so crazy and all over the place. I have been either on the edge of tears or crying every day. Haha. It's great. I am over at Wendys house watching tv and about ready to cry today after I had already cried today. I have never cried so much in my life. I usually cry about once or twice a month (normally when I am not pregnant and full of hormones). It's weird to think it's been over a months since I've found out. It seems so long ago. But it's only been 4 weeks. I am having my first appoinment in a week and I am scared. I don't know what to expect and I am just so scared that something is wrong. I am hoping everything is fine and I get to hear the (one) heartbeat for free. I know I am going to have to have a lot of little tests done and it's all going to be extra. I hope it's not too much. I know they have to check my blood for a few things. Make sure I'm not rh negitive and maybe see what my HCG levels are. Probablly check my pee to make sure I don't have that bladder infection still (which I am scared I do). And a whole bunch more. Money has been on my mind for the past week. I don't know how we are going to pay all of this stuff off before this baby is born. With all the lab fees and 1 ultrasound + the doctors fees I am guessing it is going to be about $3000. Eeek.
So I will do an update next week about how the visit went all though I am sure you all will know how it went before I actually update.

7 Weeks

2009-07-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

Not much is new this week. I have been feeling so crappy lately. And I know it's my fault. I feel crappy and don't want to eat / afraid to throw up so I don't eat and then I just feel worse because I haven't eaten. It's so hard to work. I am having to eat every 2 hours and I have no appitite for anything. Which is hard to do at work because I can't really just bring a sandwhich (or 3) because I have no where to refridgerate them. So I have to bring snacks and they don't really help. Plus I have been needing to go shopping and I haven't yet because I just don't feel up to it. And we have no food in the house. I made rice and was so excited to eat it yesterday. I put just a bit of butter in it and sat down to eat it. Once I stuck it in my mouth I felt so sick. The butter must have been bad because it was so freakin nasty and gross. I didn't know butter could go bad. We haven't had it for very long. I have been needing to do so much and just haven't felt like doing anything. It's too hot outside during the day (and with our car being worse while the air is on and it's hot outside I haven't been driving very much) and I just haven't been in the mood to do anything. I've gotten a few migraines and those are so horrible. Before I cold take migraine meds and that would help a little bit but now I can't take anything and I just have to work through them and wait till I can go home and sleep it off. Ugh... So miserable.
My emotions have kicked in hard. Today I started to break down (in my room while Wade's friends were over) because I was watching a show on tv and they had so much food at their picnic and everything looked so good and I just wanted to be able to eat something and not feel sick. Haha. I starting crying to Wade and couldn't stop myself. He went out and bought me some fruit and a sandwhich. Which were so horrible. I felt bad. I didn't tell him how bad it was. It may just be my taste buds. But the fruit was nasty and the sandwhich tasted funky. He even bought me provolone because he wasn't sure if that was provolone on the sandwhich (which is what I wanted). I felt bad. I probablly won't be able to eat any more of it.
And one last thing. I don't remember if I said this earlier but Wendy (Wade's mom) was weird about us having a bottle. We had told her that we had already gotten something for the baby and that my mom had bought us a bottle. And she says ,"Well I hope you won't have to us it." Exactly like that. I plan on bottle feeding. I always have even when I was younger. I always knew I would. So that just pisses me off so bad. Wade I guess didn't really hear that. Today Wendy told Wade his great grandma Marine has breast cancer. That is the 3rd person on that side that has gotten it. And Wendy tells Wade "So make sure Ambria breastfeeds." ??? What does that even have to do with his great grandma having breast cancer. He tells me this and I am like Why is she trying to push me to breastfeed so bad. And I guess he didn't hear her when she said it last time. And now I am really pissed that she keeps trying to push it so hard. Wade even told her my situation and she still was trying to think a way around it. So she's trying to convince Wade to convince me to do it. I mean seriously! I hate when people try to push their opiniuns down my throat. It's fine when I ask you for advise but don't go out of your way to push it down my throat. It's my life. Just let me do what I need to do and leave if at that. I am just glad that my mom is more understanding. (that our whole family is actually) I wouldn't be able to deal with it if my family was trying to push that down on me too. And it's always people who don't know my situation that do it. And they don't care "what kind of excuses" we "try to make up". And hello!! If Wade can't find a job when this baby is born it's going to be me who's going back to work. How can I breastfeed while I am at work all crazy hours of the week? It's not like I can take a break for 15 minutes and pump. I don't even get lunch breaks! Sorry I am just ranting now.
So that's what my week has been like. I need to get my window fixed, get a saftey, and get new tags on my car before the end of the month. I hope this won't cost us too much. I don't have much money to do this.

Car Update

2009-07-17T02:29:00.000-07:00

So everyone told me that I should change the air filter and that should fix my problem. Dad and I changed it and it didn't do a thing >: ( So I've spent $40 (which doesn't sound like much but that should have gone towards food and gas) for nothing. I took it in to a place to get a diagnoisis for it and they couldn't find anything. No one can figure this stupid car out. Our registration is due this month. $140 which sucks but it's not TOO bad. I need to get a saftey on it this year and I was going to do that a few days after we did the spark plugs but kept forgetting about it. The other day I wrote it on my hand so I wouldn't forget and everything and I was going to run home and change and then get it done. When I got home I noticed this giant huge crack in my windsheild. Out of no where. We have had small tiny rock chips in our window for almost 3 years (we have 4 of them) and I figured they haven't cracked yet they probably won't do it anytime soon. Of course it has to happen when my car is breaking down and we don't have extra money and when the money we do have has to go to bills and stuff. Sucks. This always happens to us. Sorry I am just stressing over money and this huge doctor bill. This just sucks pretty bad.

6 Weeks

2009-07-17T02:15:00.000-07:00

My morning sickness has been getting a little worse over the past week. Today was pretty miserable. We woke up and went to the in laws house. Their house was so hot I got sick right away. I went into Holly's room which was so hot I was sweating just laying there with no blankets on and yet it was the coldest room in the house. I threw up a few times and came out to eat something. All I could really keep down was rice so I was kind of scarfing it down. I ate a tiny bit of meat and weird salad with weird looking cucumbers. Then I felt better. Then I sat in the living room and got sick all over again. I had to just lay down. I felt better once I got home with just little waves so sickness but I was okay. Now while I am at work I am sick all over again. I don't know why it's worse at night. So pretty much I've felt sick all day. Sucks. I was helping a customer and I had a bad wave come over me and I had to just sit down and try not to focus on being sick. Right after I handed them the map, I bolted to the bathroom but nothing happened. I feel like I need to but can't. I don't know what's worse. Throwing up every 10 minutes or feeling sick all the time and not being able to throw up.
I am normally a side sleeper. It is normally my left side too (they say it is best for your baby to sleep on your left side so I thought "That's perfect. I won't have to worry about anything.") but lately I've only been comfortable on my back which is the worst postion to sleep in. I was scared I was hurting the baby so I looked it up and it's normally okay in the first trimester while you are so small so I am happy about that. It's weird. I've never been a back sleeper. I hardely ever do it now I do it every time I lay down. For some reason I've been having a hard time sleeping. I can not get comfortable and my whole body is sore. It is uncomfortable everytime I roll over (which is very often). It's weird all these random changes your body goes through. Like how something the size of a pea can cause me so much discomfort. Oh well right. Hopefully it will get better soon.

Car Problems : (

2009-07-15T09:04:00.001-07:00

Wade went down to Vegas over the weekend to drop a friend off at the airport. He took my car (the Suzuki). Once he came home the car started acting very weird. When we are stopped (red light or stop sign or whatever) the car starts shaking like it's going to run out of gas or the battery is going to die. It freaks me out every time I have to stop. I try to take the back roads because it's less traffic and less braking. So me Britt and Dad changed my spark plugs to see if that would help. After we were done the car seemed to be working so much better. Not 100% but much improved. It wasn't that hot that night so I wasn't really running the ac. The next day after work (at 3pm) I had to turn on my ac because (obviously) it was hot. And it stated doing it again. So it's worse when it's hot out side and the ac is running. I took it to a diagnosis place yesterday and they had the car for almost 2 hours and couldn't find anything wrong with it. Humphh... So I am going to take it back some day when I can just leave it there all day so they can really find what's wrong with it. And hopefully they can. Plus Wades ac in his car doesn't really work. It's not really blowing out cold air - only hot air. I am going to buy an air filter also and some stuff to clean out the fuel tank and hopefully that will help too. It needs it. I am just hoping this isn't going to be too much money. I love working on my car with Dad. It's so fun. I just wish it weren't in dire need of help and it was more just for fun. It's great though. Now all we need is to get mom out there with us and we would have the whole family helping fix my car : )

On other news we are so excited to see Harry Potter : ) I was planning on buying tickets early for it and going to the midnight nlshiwing last night but totally spaced. They are probablly sold out for a week. I also wanted to reread the book before I see the movie (which is what I normally do) but I am only on like page 200. Still need another 400 to go. So maybe once I am done reading it the crowds will have died down and it won't be too busy.

Almost 6 weeks-Random

2009-07-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to decide what to do wheather I get a midwife or a doctor. We decided to get a doctor. Wade is scared to have a midwife. So we are going to get an expensive doctor. : ( I called the hospital yesterday and asked them how much it costs to stay there one night and they were all dumb and had to ask someone else and then transfer me to someone else and I never actually found out how much it is. I am just trying to get everything straight. For once I am not really procrastinating (sp?). I cant wait for Kali to get home. It's been so weird to go over there and not have her there. I am already becoming an angry grumpy pregnant lady. Haha Everyone and everything has been bugging me. I am already sick of people trying to give me advise and trying to tell me what to do and how to do it. Ugh. It's making me angry just thinking about it and unfortuatly I still have like 7-8 more months left. Well acctually longer because it wi get worse when the baby is born : | Oh well. What can you do right? Just smile and pretend like you are listening.
Wade has been so super great : ) He makes this so much easier for me. He has been rubbing my back and my feet and helping out so much. He makes me laugh when I feel sick and it's making it so great. He is so excited for this baby to be born ; ) He said he can't even wait 9 months for her. Plus he wanted Kubrick for a boy and I kindof changed it on him. I brought up a name I really liked and he didn't really like it at first and I said it's okay. We picked Kubrick first and I acctually picked the girl name out so you can choose the boy name. He said that the mothers intuition is better than the dads and if I feel this baby should be named a certian name then that's what it's going to be. So I am going to get my way : ) and we keep Kubrick for the middle name. You will all find out when we find out what the sex is. Sorry if that's too far away : ) Only 3 and 1/2 more months to go : )
My morning sickness hasn't been too bad. It's worse at night for some reason. I just feel super sick at times and have to hold in my puke - sorry if tmi. I have to force myself to eat during the day which has been hard for me. I have no appitite and if I don't eat I feel sick so that's the only thing that sucks. I'm not use to eating so much.
I had a dream that the registraion on our car was suppsed to be done my the 12th and it is now the 15th so I was freaking out in my dream. Haha. Weird.

5 Weeks Take 2

2009-07-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

My morning sickness started today : ( I am at work right now and I am puking my guts out. Sucks. I wish I was at home in my own bed. Ugh... I feel so crappy. Hopefully this will go away quickly.

5 Weeks

2009-07-09T23:58:00.000-07:00

I am going to start tracking my pregnancy so you dont have to read if you dont want to. The times it's about the pregnancy or the baby it will say what week I am on. Well this week started off great! I felt great and didn't feel sick or anything. I wasn't approved for any finacial help which sucks so bad!! Oh well I am going to find a doctor tomorrow if I feel up to it. My back has been killing me so bad. I think it's just a pinched nerve (I hope!) and that everything okay. I am kind of freaking out about it because it was so bad tonight. I really hope everything okay with my little baby and that it's just something that happens. Ugh! Other than that nothing else has been going on. I have not been sick (except that one time) and I haven't really felt too naesous. I just hope everything goes smoothly with this and everything will work out for the best. : ) Enough for tonight. I'll post more later

4 weeks

2009-07-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

As all of you know I am pregnant. Yay : ) We found out today. I was 3 days late and just figured I'd take it just for fun. I didn't think I was. I kept feeling some minor cramps since I was supossed to start. I jet figured my body knows it's supossed to start and that's why I'm having cramps. I figured I was just under so much stress with this whole impounded car thing that that was the reason why I was late. Almost right away the test showed up positive. The line starting showing up on the left side and I was looking at the picture on the test and the line was supossed to be on the right side (the control line). Then the second line showed up right after. Too bad ALL of my family is out of town and we had to celebrate by ourselves. That's okay.
We went to mom and dads house to cook a steak for Wade. I was going to have chicken but grilled cheese sounded so much better. I barely could eat one sandwhich and I was getting full. Weird. Then all of a sudden I had an urge to puke. Right after I was done I felt totally fine like nothing ever happened : ) The joys of being pregnant. I am 4 weeks 1 day pregnant today and I'm already getting morning sickness? That sucks. It's going to be bad. Oh well.
I only have 4 more months till I can find out if it's a boy or girl.

I'm making a bet. Add a comment to this and write down what you think it is. The person who is accurate gets a prize. Also - write if you think he/she is going to have dark hair or light hair and whatever else and it will add to the bet. Good luck : )

Bank problems >: (

2009-06-26T00:35:00.000-07:00

Wow. It's been so long. I've tried to hold off because I just don't want to post about our whole issues with our banks but I figure I better get it done. In short-this is what's been going on for the past month or so... We had a hold put on our account because 4 checks tried to go through our account and we did not write them. The lady did not tell me they were going to put a hold on the account so we haven't been able to get our money out. Lame. So we have talked to everyone and I finally talked with a nice girl who told me all I had to do was open a new account with Chase and the money from our old account (Wamu) could be transfered to the new account. So the next day I go in to the bank to do so and after we got all set up they said "Oh no. We can't do that." We were there for about an hour-holding up the lines and we still weren't able to get our money. So we opened a new account with Chase for nothing (which I am so mad about.) I did not want to open an account with them because once Wamu switched to Chase is when ALL of our problems starting happening. Plus it is not FDIC insured. It is not a free checking. So we have to use it 5 times a month otherwise we will be charged for it. Blah blah blah blah. There is so much more. So the lady told us to call this number in 24-48 hours and they will have made up their minds to see if they can give us our money. I called a few days later and the guy I talked to didn't know anything and said there was a letter that was supossed to be sent out to us. I told him we haven't gotten anything and we need this done NOW!! He said all he can do is send another letter. (This happened about a week ago-still haven't gotten anything). So now we just have to do the waiting game and HOPE they will speed up the process of closing our account. Which right now ( I just figured out) is only a few days away from the date it was suppssed to close anyway. A lot of good that did huh?! So we just have to wait and hope they send us a check for our money. When I opened that new account the lady said we HAD to put in at least $25 to acctually open the account and I told her the olny reason I did this was so I could have my money. I don't have any and I am not putting any money into it. Just cancel what ever you did so it can't open. A few days ago I got our new debit card in the mail. Haha. So I called right away to cancel the account and they are going to try to charge us $25. I told him I am not paying that and I'll just wait 3 months so I can close it. (if you try closing before 3 months they charge you-nice of them to tell me). Then I remembered that if I don't use it I will be charged anyway. So I'm stuck in a rut. I am going to fight it and maybe to back in to the branch because they knew our story. What a mess huh? We are still waiting for the money and I have a feeling like it's going to take another month to get it. Let's hope not right?!

Anyway!!! Other than that there is nothing new with us. Same old crap.

- & + VERY LONG POST

2009-06-05T22:55:00.000-07:00

I am so upset angry and pissed off. I am so happy excited and thankful.
UPSET=Period showed up today AFTER I bought expensive pregnancy tests (after being 3 days late), tested, and saw it started right after. Couldn't have come 10 minutes earlier?! I really thought I was pregnant. I was almost 100% positive I was. I try to make myself think I am not so I don't get so upset by it. I could explain almost all my sympotoms except a few. The ones I couldn't expain, I had never had before and that's what made me so certain I was. It's just devastaing. Trying for months and never succeding. I know it's just going to get worse too : (
ANGRY=My stupid bank. I went to go put money into my account (stuff is going to go through tomorrow) and the guy said it would take 4 days for it to to through. What the freakity freakin crap?! Since I opened my Wamu account online in Cali (Wamu switched to Chase in Utah last week and Cali doesn't switch to Chase until October.), they have to mail my checks or cash to Cali to send them to "Wamu". So now I am going to overdraft because of these stupid freakin people who didn't stop and think - people open their account in one state and then MOVE!! This is happening to a lot of VERY angry people right now. They should have switch nation wide at once so this wouldn't have happened. Or atleast sent us letters explaining it. That way we can know that this was going to happen so we could have prepared ourselves for it so won't get charged fees for it. That's probablly why they did it. Just to get lots of money. So if I "deposited" the money into our account, I wouldn't get the money until Tuesday. Still have overdraft fees that they "might pay" ( but most likely won't because they are ... Retards. Or wait till Tuesday and have Wade's check go through and have fees but be able to use our money for Dad and Wade's birthday. I am going to close our account on Tuesday. I am not going to put up with this crap. Chase has been giving us so many problems all ready and they just barely switched.
PISSED OFF=Stupid people. People (in general) just drive me nuts. People who stare for no reason. People who don't know how to drive or read the road signs that say 45 miles an hour. Aparently all roads in St. George are 25. People treat you like crap even though you had nothing to do with whatever they are pissed about (and you can't change it no matter how much you try to make it better) People who are fake. People who look down on others. So pretty much everyone.

HAPPY=Family. I am happy to have such a great family (and in law family). I am happy that Wade's gpop was nice enough to buy us a new battery for Wade's car. We have been needing it for about a month now and haven't been able to afford one. He spent some extra money on a warrenty (which I love) and a good brand. I am happy Wade's mom got us Wii Fit : ) I have been wanting that for over a year. I waned it even before it came out. It was always too much money to spend on myself. (about $100) I am happy that Wade thought about me when he and his mom went to go pick it out. I am happy that eveyone has been so happy and supportive with me wanting to get pregnant. I am happy that other people are excited for me to get pregnant. I am kind of happy that Wade got upset (and looked like he was going to cry) when he found out I wasn't pregnant (again). (Not happy but ... I don't know what to call it. Touched?)
EXCITED=Playing the Wii when I get home tomorrow. I can't wait to start playing our new game. I am excited to see Dad tomorrow. I am excited to have a BBQ and eat homemade ice cream. I am excited to go home and sleep =•) (when am I not excited about that?) I am excited to spend time with my family.
THANKFUL=Family. I am thankful that Wade's family thought of us and were so generous for out birthdays. I am thankful (tf) for Kali. She always let's me talk to her and I can open up to her more than I can with almost anyone else. You give me a lot of encouragement and strength I never knew I had. I am tf for Mom. I can tell her all my worries and open up to her I know she will still love me anyway. She listens to me and is always there when I need her (except when she's watching her shows : ) Don't even try to talk with her while she is watching her shows). I am tf for Dad and his handy toolman scenses. I am glad that I can go to him with all my car problems and I know I am in good hands. I don't trust anyone else with my car problems. I can always talk with you about anything (except for all that girly stuff) and you give me great advise. I am happy that you think about me at 12 or 11 at night and call me just to talk. I am tf for Joesph. You always care about me and let me talk your ear off. You let me bug you all the time. Thanks for always massaging my back and being understanding. You are the best little brother I could ever have. I am tf for Natali. Thanks for always talking with me. Thanks for all the advise you have given me over the years. You were always there for me. I could talk to you about everything and I can be honest with you. I am tf for Micah. Thank you for being a great brother. I'm glad we have so much in common and we can talk about anything. I am glad I can be myself around you. You always make me laugh and can make my day so much better. I am tf for David. Thanks for always thinking about me and always calling me. I wish you could live closer so we could hang out more and so I could get more massages from you (although now my back is worse than moms and even the slightest massage hurts like crazy). Thank you for always giving us gifts and cards (for X-Mas and birthdays). I know you guys are struggiling too and it always means a lot to me that even though you don't have our name for X-Mas you still give us something. I am SO tf to have Wade. I love you so much and I don't know where I would be without you. You always make me happy and I am so lucky to have you.
I am lucky to have such a great family and I don't know what I would do without any of you. I am so happy that we are close. I love everyone of you and I can't wait to see all of you. Sorry this is so long ; )

Lake Trip!

2009-06-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

Wendy, Me, and Holly at the lake.

2009-05-30T05:35:00.000-07:00

I feel like something is biting me.
: (
The top of my foot felt kind of numb yesterday. Hard to explain. Then when I laid down to go to bed it started itching like crazy. I couldn't stop it. Today my inner ankle is itching like crazy no matter how much I scratch it. I am itching all over!!! I wish today was Sunday so I could just sleep today.
Wade might have gotten food poisoning. He thinks he does at least. I don't think he does. He hasn't puked at all. I just can't wait to get into bed!!! I wish the days were longer when we sleep and faster when we work. That would be sweet!! I don't know why I hated working so much at first. It's boring and we don't get brakes, but it's a lot less physical than the carwash. Which for me, isn't a good thing. The carwash actually helped me stay in shape (well not in shape but not get any fatter). I've really had to start watching what I eat. All though I don't eat as much working here as I did at the carwash. I really only eat one or two meals a day depending on what shift I work. At the carwash I was always around food so I would run in and grab something to eat and run back out and just pay for everything at the end of my shift. I've cut back on my spending a whole bunch too. I would always get about 3-5 44oz cups of diet pepsi a day along with candy, chips, or (my personal favorite) taquitos. Yum!! The breakfast taquitos are so good!!!!! That sounds so good right now. I forgot what I was talking about.
I have no idea what to do for Wade's bday. He says he doesn't want anything and doesn't want to do anything. That's no fun! I feel bad. He says that he doesn't care about his bday anymore.
: (
I need to get a pencil sharpener for my eye liner. The wood was poking me in the eye today. It kind of hurt. I also need to start shopping for bday and fathers day gifts. Ahhhaahh!! It's everything all at once! June and December! June is fathers day for 2, 3 birthdays. December is X-Mas for who knows how many, 4 birthdays. So stressful especially when you have no money : )
Only 8 more minutes before I get to go home. Yay!! I'm so glad mom is back! I am so happy that everyone is back. I was so lonely!!!! Have a good day!

Memorial Weekend (kindof) Pixs coming soon I promise!!

2009-05-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

Things have been going. Not that great but not horrible either. I am never watching Britt's dog again. It took me over 4 hours to st him back in his stupid cage. He was driving me nuts yesterday. On monday, me, Holly, and Wendy went to the river and walked down that for about an hour. We got some really cute pictures of all of us. There were these little things on the ground that were black and weird. I noticed they were moving and I told Holly that they were bug and she jumped so high and screamed so loud. Hahaha. It was so funny. I was laughing so much and trying to walk upstream at the same time and I could barely breath. It was great. After 3 1/2 years of knowing them, I am finally feeling more comfortable with them and they are more comfortable with me too. I found out some crazy stuff over the week end. I am not sure what to do with all this information either. I want to tell Wade so bad but I can't.
James cooked for us. He made us burgers (regular and buffalo). They were good. Nice and smokey. We brought over the wii and played on that.
I don't know what to do for all these bdays and fathers days coming up. Only 11 days until dads birthday. I have no idea what to get him!! (as usual) then the next day is wade's bday. Have no idea what to get him. The a week later is mine. Don't have any idea what to do. Then less than a week is fathers day. Have no idea what to get him again. Dad is the hardest person to buy for so please!!! Give me some of your ideas. Please!!! I have to go baby sitting tonight. Hopefully it's only for an hour or 2 at the most. I feel nasty. I need to go brush my teeth. I wish I had my toothpaste.

Update and Movie Review

2009-05-23T23:50:00.001-07:00

I think I have a bladder infection. Maybe that's why this sickness has lasted so long. I'm not sure what it is but I think I have a little blood in my urine and I really need to see a doctor. I shouldn't have put if off for so long. When I was at DRA they tested my urine for something and found out I had a bladder infection. I had no idea. I don't usually get any burning sensation when I pee when I get them so I never know I have them. They gave me antibiotics and it didn't clear up so I had to take a stronger dose until it cleared up. But it kept coming back. When I moved to Cali, I had one and had to get some meds for it. Before we got married though, I had a bad one. I had a fever and was so sick from it. So now I am thinking that I had one and didn't know about it. Now it's to the point of peeing with a little blood. Sorry that's so nasty. I bought a jug of cranberry juice and plan on drinking that tonight. And buying a few more and drinking one a day until I can go in to the clinic. The rest of me feels better. So I am happy about that.
I went to see the new Terminator Salvation and it was freakin awesome. Christian Bale did such a great job. He is a really good actor. He gets so into his roles! You need to see this. Just make sure you at least watch the first 2 Terminators first. The third one is okay so I would watch those too. It will help understand the movie a lot. I can't wait to see the new Wolverine movie too. That will be the next movie we go to. I've heard mixed reviews about that though. I know I'll like it anyway. Not a lot of people liked the third X-Men movie but I still liked it and own it. I've just heard that the story line is choppy and they try to fit in too much in a short amount of time. But I still can't wait to see it.

2009-05-22T22:37:00.000-07:00

I am finally feeling better! Yay! My stomatch still feels a little uneasy at times but it's not naeseous (sp) anymore. It's kind of a weird feeling. I can't really describe it. Something weird is going on in my body. But at least I feel better. I need to go to a doctor. Haha. Hopefully soon right? I feel so much better. I am happy right now. We are okay with money this week and I finally cried today so I feel better emotionally. Hopefully this lasts and won't change by tomorrow. I am jealous and sad that I can't come to Oakland with everyone. That would have been so nice. And fun! I am going to be lonely without anyone here in town with me. Let's hang out before you leave!! (If you read this before you go) I'll write more later. There's not much to write about.

P. S. I forgot

2009-05-18T13:52:00.000-07:00

The whole reason I wanted to post today was because something pissed me off. Click on Nanny's comments on her latest post. Was it just me or did Mary Ann Blackham (or how ever you spell her name) piss you off. "Contrats oh by the way, your one boy might have assbergers (sp)." Well gee thanks for congratulating me! And obviously if we are going to a special school and we know what he has. I'm sorry but that really pissed me off and I'm done so bye!!

2009-05-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

I am feeling better. This morning my stomatch was still unsure if it wanted to be sick or better. Last night was better too. I never threw up but at times I felt like I might. This bug I have is nasty!! It started with my head and it wasn't bad at first. But mixing the sickness and migranes hurt so bad. There was one night were I was throwing up/dry heaving all day. Having cold sweats. Hot then cold then hot again. It was bad! I was up until 4 in the morning and then had to go to work at 7. But it's slowly started working it's way down and now it's affecting my tummy : ( But today is looking up and I feel better. Not 100% yet but hopefully it's soon. That last post - I was having such a hard night. It started out just nauseous and then got worse really fast. I hadn't eaten much during the day because I didn't want to make myself throw up so that may have been a factor in it. But anyway to the point of this story, I was so scared and didn't know what to do. It was 3 am and I felt like I was going to pass out so I went in the back room and I felt like I was close to blacking out. I had to run to the bathroom and throw up and sit in there for a while. My hands and arms were all tingly and I really thought I was going to have to to to the ER. Plus it was 3 am and I knew I couldn't call anyone to cover my shift. But things are looking up. Finally. I still don't feel great and still need to recover but at least I can keep foods down.

There really isn't much going on. I really miss dad. I thought he was leaving today and I was planning on coming over after work so we could spend time together. But he left yesterday and I didn't have the car all day and was still feeling sick. : ( I really wish I could have said good bye to him in person. When is mom coming home? I miss everyone. Kali, what's going on? Are we ever going to hang out or are you not up to it? I know you always feel like crap and are tired, but I miss you!!!! Someone! Please I just need contact with the outside world!!

More Sickness

2009-05-17T03:57:00.000-07:00

This is by far the worst sickness I have ever gotten. Wade and everyone who has gotten sick is over it all ready and I still feel like crap. I am getting worried. I have been feeling so sick and like I need to throw up but can't. Ugh. I am so naesous. Today while at work I almost passed out. I had to sit down on the floor in the back room ask force myself to get up and run to the bathroom to throw up. On the way I almost blacked out and my hands and arms were all numb and tingly. I am just glad I am working the night shifts where I am not dealing with anyone. I am probablly just over exagerating but I am scared I have the swine flu. I have every single symptom and it is possible I could have gotten it since I work at a hotel where travelers come in from all over the contry. Am I over exagerating? I think I am going to go to the doctors on Monday. I really don't think I have ever been so sick in my entire life. And I don't think I have ever been so sick for so long either. Wow. It's been so long since I've been to the doctors. Hopefully they can help and it's not a huge waste of money. I really hope they can do something.
Congrats to Nanny and Kev!! I can't wait to see Quinn.
I have been so... I don't know what a good word for this is. Homesick? I have been missing my family lately even though they aren't that far from me. I miss mom and dad. I just want to spend time with them and see everyone. I miss Wade even though we were just together. I have been so emotional today. I've almost cried a few times while at work. Hahaha. I am seriously counting down the minutes until I can go home. I just feel so awful and miserable. I feel so bad for you Kali. I don't know how you can do this everyday (but times 1000 of what I am going through). It is killing me. Ugh.... Sorry. These early morning posts are always like this. I'm just tired and sick. Maybe next time I'll post during the day when I am not so run down.

2009-05-12T07:33:00.000-07:00

I babysat for Britin yesterday and when I showed up Britin told me something Devin told her. (remember he's only 4) "Mom, when I grow up, I want to marry Ambria." How cute is that? It was a good day with them. Devin's friend showed up so that kept him busy while I was taking care of Emery. She wasn't too fussy. She's getting so big! She can crawl and pull herself up on things. She would get frustrated with her self if she couldn't stand up by herself. She went down easy with a half of a bottle so me and Devin watched Star Wars The Clone Wars. (cartoon movie) and we were playing with his sword pretending they were light sabers. I think I am going to get a bruise on my spine. He kneed me so hard! It hurt so bad. I can acctually still feel where he kneed me. It's probablly bruised right now. : |
I'm upset and disappointed. And frustrated. And that's pretty much everything in my life right now.

Crappy, Whiny, and Boring. Warning: don't read unless you want to hear a lot of boring complaining stuff

2009-05-10T02:17:00.001-07:00

I have been feeling so crappy lately! I have been so sick! I am having migranes, cramps, muscle aches, plus all this sickness stuff (sore throat, stuffy/runny nose, drained, etc.) plus on top of all that I have been so nauseous all the time and I'm getting hot and cold sweats! I feel fine one second and then the sickness comes back and I have to sit down for a few minutes until it goes away again. Then it keeps repeating it all day long. I am so sick of it! I wish my body would just make up it's mind. If I'm going to feel naueous, then let mejist feel that way the whole time or atleast until I can throw up. But jumping back and forth from fine to sick is killing me. It took me more than 30 minutes to eat 5 chicken nuggets and some fries today. (My friend from work bought me dinner. How sweet huh?) I wish this stupid sickness would just go away all ready! I can't stand feeling this way any longer!!! Any tips on getting rid of sickness fast? This is wearing my body down and I have NO energy to do anything. I just want to sleep!!!! Sorry it's a whinny post. Again.

Wade's been going out almost everyday to look for work. And still no sign of anyone hiring. I don't know how much longer we ( no I ) can stand it.
I am sorry. I just am feeling so sick and tired. I really just want to go to bed and I know that when I get home I am just going to have to wake up in a few hours to come right back to work. I have so much to do and I haven't been able to get any of it done. I really need to wash like 10 batches of clothes really bad! My one last work shirt I flung into the shower as it was running so it got soaked : ) and so I had to wear something dirty today. Don't ask me how or why I did that. It was an accident I swear. Any way. Nothing else is going on. I didn't get as much money as I thought I would this last pay check somthat bums me out. I got these awesome games for the iPod. One is Lemonade Tycoon. That one is so fun!!! It's like Roller coaster tycoon but instead of roller coasters there are lemons (well obviously) the other one is called tap defense. Britt would love it. You set up your defenses around the board and you want to stop the bad guys from reaching the end other wise you'll loose the game. It gets harder as you go and you upgrade your towers/weapons. Anyway, it's really fun. I think it heats up it iPod so I can't play it for very long. I was playing it last night and my iPod got really hot in one corner and that's never happened to me before so I had to stop playing it. Well, it's a boring post. Sorry.

Freaking Out

2009-05-01T23:25:00.001-07:00

I've been freaking out lately about money and about Wade not being able to find a job. Last week they made the new schedules for this month and they cut my hours down to 4 days a week. I went crazy and have been so upset for these past couple of days. Wade's job that he got fell through and they lied to him about a lot of stuff. Mostly his pay though. So I really freaked out tonight. No where in town is hiring and I am so moody and upset. I got to work tonight and found out that they messed up on the schedule. Darwin's son did it and that's why I was only on for 4 days. (I think. When I saw the schedule he was here and I was like "I'm going to have to find a second job now. I can't live off 4 days a week.") I'm not sure if that's the reason or if it was really that they waned me on full time. Either way I am so happy. That takes off a lot of stress. Plus if I did my calculations right, I am going to be making an extra $123 (before taxes) for all the walk ins I've done. I really hope we get that extra money! I would be so happy!!! I am going to start being smart about money that way we aren't feeling like we are stressing pay check to pay check.
I've been watching Tegan lately. He is one of the cutesy little babies I've ever seen. Today he was wearing a blue polo with his collar popped. It was so cute! He looked like a little pimp (JK). I wish I could put pictures on here. He is a cute little Samoan baby. He is getting so big and can say Momma and Dadda. Today he was saying Dadda all the time. Every time I would hold him or he would just look around the apartment. It was so cute. It scares me though. Well not that but the idea of having a baby. There's times where I feel so ready and I can handle anything. And then I just start thinking about all the things that can go wrong and all the late nights and it scares the crap out of me. I don't know if I'm ready but I want one so bad. I'm having mixed emotions. I don't know what to do. I am thinking about waiting longer before we try. But then I think, when am I ever going to be ready? No matter what age I am I am still going to have to deal with the things that come with a baby. I'm still going to have long nights when I'm 25. At least now I am use to it with these night shifts. I know Wade's going to me a great dad. He kept making Tegan laugh and laugh and would cheer him up when he was getting fussy. He tells me about when he goes over to John's house and how he holds his son and he falls asleep on Wade. Tonight he was watching his kids for a little bit because John had to run and do something. I am so confused about it all.
So the good news is I've quit smoking. I haven't smoked for almost a week. The bad news is that I freaked out to night and smoked. Just once but I feel so nasty and crappy. It's the last time! I can't handle that any more. It's way too expensive!!! They've been raising the price of all the ciggs in Utah so it's rediculous to even do it any more.
Well every one needs to update!! I get so bored at work. All I do is look and Yahoo Answers. You can only handle so much of that. There are some pretty stupid people on there.

Uggh..

2009-04-25T02:33:00.000-07:00

So we went up to Cedar on Monday and came home on Wednesday. It was okay. I thought it was going to be more relaxing. We first met up with Colin and hung out for about an hour or less and then Wade left with him and I watched tv. They came back and we went swimming with Phil. (another friend) That was okay. I felt akward around them though because I don't know how to swim and because I was the only girl. We were throwing a lighter around in the pool and Phil threw it at this metal rack and it blew up. It was so cool. Then Wade and I go back to Phils house and watch a movie till about 4 in the morning. I was so tired!!
The next day, I slept!!! For about 11 hours. Wade met up with colin and colin made him breakfast. I am so glad I decided to sleep though. It had 2 packs of bacon, 1 carton of jumbo eggs, 2 cloves of garlic, and 1 big onioun. Nasty! Wade got so sick from that later that night. Plus he smelt like it all day. Anyway, spencer and john came up and we went to phils house and had a BBQ. That was fun. We came back to the hotel and swam for a little bit but then got kicked out.
I had the hardest time falling asleep that night. I didn't get to sleep until like 6 am I think. The peoe below us left their bathroom fan on all day and night and the noise was driving me nuts. I turned the air down to as low as it would go just so I didn't have to hear their noise. So I was getting hot and cold flashes (and I am getting that today too) so I only had my sheet on me. So I would be freazing while the air is on, but super hot once it turned off. So yeah, that last night was miserable. Oh well. Overall it was pretty good.

I have had the worst migraine today. I woke up with it and then I slept for 2 hours and it was still there. So I got ready for work and still had 30 minutes before I had to leave so I tried to take another nap. I almost fell asleep but Wade came home and woke me up and I couldn't really sleep. So I've been throwing up all day and night. I feel so much better right now though. I brought my 7up and crackers withe to work and I have been able to keep about 5 crackers down. Tomorrow all I am going to do is sleep! Which I am so excited about. Uggh.... I am so tired. I only have 3 more hours to go and then I'm done! Only 3 more hours....

Super Catch Up

2009-04-19T02:55:00.000-07:00

I am so excited. I get 2 days off in a row on Monday and Tuesday. Yay!!! We might go down to Cedar if we can afford it. I am thinking about staying in a hotel just so I can feel like I am having a vacation. : ) Luckily if we do decide to stay, we can get a huge deal since I work at a hotel. The one perk of having this job. I should be getting a pay raise (hopefully if Darwin didn't "forget") plus he said one night that he was going to give me an extra $1 for every walk in and reseravation I did that night. And I got a whole bunch of walk ins so hopefully I made some good money this pay check. And I think I had some over time too. Yay!

Just a question, who else had to pay money to either the state or to the government for their taxes this year? Everyone I talked to has had to pay this year. (except one Mexican who acctually got back more money than anyone I know) That frustates me!!

So Kali and I looked at these town homes a few days ago and I am completely in love with them. If Kali decides to get one I am going to be so jealous. I am going to have to come over every day. ; ) I wish we made more money so we could afford one. (P. S. Kali, Wade told me the other townhomes that you really liked: they have the kitchen and living room upstairs. So that would be kind of weird. I don't think I would buy a town home like that. That would be such a hassle just to go get a glass of water).

This next week I am going to be working night shifts EVERY day for 5 days straight. Which sucks for my sleeping schedule. But I don't mind acctually working at night. I would prefer this to the mid-day shifts. I just need my sleep and it's so hard for me to fall asleep as the sun is coming up and the people above us are jumping up and down on the floor. Ugh. The people above us are SO loud!! I swear they are meth or coke addicts because I hear them every single hour of every day. I don't think they sleep at all. That's the bad thing about being in a down stairs appartment.

I am going to go I think. I am ready to watch Doubt. I'll let you know if you should watch it. Oh, a must watch/own is 7 pounds. It's such a great movie. I think everyone would enjoy it, even Dad. Well I will update later this week and let you know how my mini vacation went. (If we decide to go.)

2009-04-12T01:34:00.000-07:00

I have been driving myself nuts this past week. I am stressed out, emotional, cranky, and just worn out. I don't know if it's from my crazy sleeping schedule or if it's from stress or what. I just feel so drained. I have no energy through out the day. Which is weird because I shouldn't be. On my normal days I get anywhere from 8-12 hours of sleep. And I am tired again half way through the day. I have been up and down all week long. I'll go from super happy to horribly pissed off for no reason. I feel bad for Wade because it's driving him nuts too. I really just need a few days to sleep and relax. I am nervous and my emotions have been all over the place. My whole body is aching. I don't know if it's because I am tired at work and every things just bugging me or what but I am just in a whinny mood right now sorry.
I had a really fun day today and I was SO excited to see Nan and the fam. The kids weren't shy this time at all. Emma warmed up to me so fast. She started talking to me right away. Zack was a little shy at first (like normal) but he opened up pretty quick. It made me SO happy when we went to the park and all the kids knew my name. I know that sounds dumb but at first one of the kids said something that sounded like my name but I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or not. But I kept hearing it and I realized that they were saying my name. I didn't think they remembered (or even knew) my name because I am not around much. But it made me so happy that all of them were wanting me to play with them and stuff. I was suprized that Zack opened up to me so much. He's usually very shy towards me and will stick next to Daddy or Mommy or run away when I try to play with him or talk to him.
Wade's family bought a whole bunch of candy and they gave me some of my favorites. : )
Wade came to visit me tonight and that totally made my day so much better. He usually will try to get out of visiting me by saying he's too tired or whatever but I told him I was so tired and angry and he said "I'll come bring you an energy drink. I'll be right there." He just got up and left. That made me so happy. Like I said, I am on an emotional roller coaster so I think the world of all this small stuff.
I wish I didn't have to work this weekend that way I could have spent more time with the family. I miss playing board games and just having a good time with everyone. I am so tired. I need to go walk around.

Nothing New

2009-03-30T16:28:00.000-07:00

There's not much going on here. Wade and I have decided to start trying for a baby once he finds a job. Which I am so super excited about. I am trying not to get my hopes up yet because I have a feeling like I am going to have a hard time getting pregnant. But I am just excited about the idea of having a baby! Work sucks like normal. I normally work Monday 3-11, off Tuesday, Wednesday 3-11, off Thursday, Friday,Saturday, and Sunday I work the night shifts 11-7 and so on my days off I usually sleep most of the day trying to catch up on lost sleep from the weekend or trying to rest up before the weekend. So I feel like I don't have any real time off. Whatever though I am just glad I have a job and we are not out on the streets with all the crazy homeless people. There isn't really anything going on in my life. I wish there was. My life is pretty boring.

Kinda Creepy... No, Really Creepy

2009-03-21T00:35:00.000-07:00

So Wade told me his friend had cut an article out of the paper a few days ago about these two guys who beat and brutally murder an old man. They had a rape charge (which the paper didn't go into that) and the cops had found them because they had cut off the old mans foot and saved it. (Stupid thing to do) Well the creepy thing about it was a while ago they (Wade and his friend) were talking out by the mortuary which is right next to our aparments. The mortuary is right across the street from a homeless shelter. Well they were standing outside talking and this bum comes up to them and starts talking to them. They could tell he was cracked out of his mind. He was going on about how he wanted to go buy a beer but maybe he wouldn't because he was now sober. But maybe be will because he really wants a beer. And he was staying with one of his friends but only for a little bit. Just a few days. No more than that. He was a total weirdo. Well it turns out that one of the guys who had killed the old man was this weirdo who was living across the street from us. That freaked me out so bad!!! We had one guy a few months ago come to our door late one night. We opened it without looking because Spencer (who lives in the same complex) comes over and hangs out with us or just wants to talk to wade at night. Anyway this guy wanted to borrow our phone to call McDonalds to see when the bus comes into town because he was just over there and the bus hadn't showed up yet. (We live about 1 mile from the McDonalds). Wade told him we had a trackfone and our minutes were out. But there was a Walgreens across the street and they would let him use their phone. (Which if he had walked from McDonalds he would have passed that and many other busiesses. ) Well the guy was kind of upset and Wade told him it was late and he should just go over there because most of us were probablly slepping by now. The guy leaves but instead of walking towards Walgrees he goes to the next apartment. We've just had some weird experiences that kind of freak me out. Now I am freaking myself out while I am at work all alone at night! I better go lock the back door : )

On a different note, our anniversary was nice. We pretty much did everything that we had panned on doing. The day went by too fast but that's okay. I really need a break. I am thinking about saving up some money and maybe just going down to Mesquite for a few nights. That would be so nice. I forgot to bring my energy drink with me tonight and I am so tired. I am about to fall asleep. I think I am going to watch my movie I brought. Kabluey. Yay!

3 years strong

2009-03-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

Our anniversary is on the 18th. I can't believe that we've been married for 3 years all ready! I wish that we had money this year to acctually do something and I wish I didn't have to work. That kind of sucks. But we are going to celebrate it tomorrow. I am going to babysit Emery so that will give us some money to go out to eat. Yay! I was going to make some yummy ice cream but I didn't realize how much effort goes into making it so if we have any extra money I think we are going to go to Dairy Queen. That was where we went on our first date. Then we went to Wal Mart and tried to pay the cashier with paper coins. : ) She thought we were serious and she was going to kick us out. I didn't really want the night to end so I suggested we go tp a house. Of course I said my mom has so much tp we can go there and pick some up. Well it was like 1 of 2 in the morning because we went out work (around 10 of 11). Mom was waiting up for me because I didn't call her to tell her I was going to be that late. I was so embarassed. She said I had to stay in even though my car was at DQ.

I think we are going to go to this resturaunt that has fondue and they give you your food on this really hot rock. You just slice off a price of your meat and push it on the rock and then flip it over and cook the other side. Yum!!! We went to a resturaunt like this for my bday a few years ago but they shut down. But they opened this new place up that's just like it so I am excited. Plus we are going to go see The Wrestler. I am so excied to see that. We love the director and have been waiting for a good movie to come out for ever. There's really not much else going on in our lives. Wade still hasn't found any work. There is nothing down here right now. It sucks. I want to go on vacation. But I need money first. Oh well. Well only 38 more minutes and then I get to go home and sleep! Yay!

Another One Bites The Dust

2009-03-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

So not much is new in our lives. I might get a manager position. Darwin told me that they are going to give me more responsiblity and a pay raise when he pays off some of his bills : ) That would be nice. We need as much money that we can get. So I've been bored out my mind lately. I got this new app for my iPod that allows you to text for free. I love it but the only thing is it has a limit to how many you can send a day because it was a free app. I am thinking about upgrading to the $6 one because it doesn't have any limits. Plus that is so worth it right? Rather than having to pay $5 a month or more. The only bad thing is that you have to have a wifi connection which kind of sucks. But I would be able to text during work. If anyone else is bored and they feel like testing, you can give me ur cell number and we can text. Oh and if you have google talk, give me ur address so if ur ever on we can talk. Work is so boring and I am kind of getting sick of having to watch movies or play games on my iPod all day.

Here Comes The Bride

2009-02-28T22:06:00.000-08:00

We went to a wedding today. It was so cute. It was very untradtional. They guys wore all black except their red ties and black and white hats. The colors were red, black, and white. They had really cute decorations and there were a whole bunch of pictures of the two of them and the girls daughter. Being there was romantic for me. I don't think it was for Wade but he's a guy. I was getting all choked up. It reminded me of how lucky I was to have such a great guy. I was kind of hoping for Wade to be all lovey dovey with me and to look at me with tears in his eyes. : ) I think I have been watching too many love stories. That's okay. He was lovey when we got home. The owners just showed up and they are yelling at their son who was here with me working. They are yelling at him for his grades. How funny. Well I feel weired being on here while they are here. Adiós

I've Got Issues

2009-02-28T00:12:00.000-08:00

I have been really bad about my jealousy issues lately. Everytime Wade talks about any girl I always get super jealous. I really don't know why. I know Wade will be loyal and I have nothing to worry about, but it has been getting really bad lately. Got any tips for fixing that? I have really bad self esteam issues and maybe that's what it's all about. Right when he says any other girls name the first thing I think of is why were you around another girl?! And then I calm myself down and think just because he's around a girl doesn't mean anything happened or there are girls out in the world too! Of course he will see some eventually. I was never jealous before. Well no, I take that back. I was a little bit but never this bad. Wade was really jealous when we first got together. I think it rubbed off on it a little. Now he doesn't get jealous often and I get jealous if another girl even looks at him. Oi vay. ANYWAY I think I am getting used to the hotel. I have a love hate relasionship with the night shifts. I love being able to be by self, not have to deal with very many people, get to have little breaks throughout my shift. But I kind of hate the next day. I sleep almost all day or I sleep for a few hours get up and have other things to do during the day ( wash clothes, go babysit, go to a wedding, etc. ) And then when I am done doing the things I have to do I can't make myself fall back asleep. Oh well I can deal with it. I'd rather that than have to work the normal shifts and deal with people 5 days a week. : ) I am becoming a recluse. I love it. All I need is Wade, my family, some food, and a nice bed. And I am happy. Well I am going to finish my movie I brought ( I love netflix!) Maybe I will write more later. We'll see

Growing Pains

2009-02-21T22:45:00.000-08:00

Today was a pretty fun day. Kind of. I got off work and went home to sleep for about 2 hours. Drove down to the gas station to help them clean and pack everything up. It's so sad to have nothing there. We took down all the dead animals from the carwash and all of the decorations. It was so bare. They got rid of most of the stuff a few days before. About a week before we closed down, one of the workers (Adelfo) was trying to tell me how much he liked Britin. He said that she had a very good heart and was a very good person. It's funny how he can even notice that even though she has only talked with him a few times. He doesnt speak English very much, and I'm sure that she has only talked with him a little bit. But he could see she had a great heart. Even though they are going to loose their house and they don't have any money, she still gave me a whole bunch of stuff. From drinks to X-mas decorations. Plus she gives me money. So anyway I was talking about my day. I come home after about 3 hours try to go to bed for 3 more hours. Britin calls and asks if I want to babysit. Of course I say yes. I love her kids. And I love babysitting their youngest. (I am the only person besides her parents who has ever watched her) I was going to watch the kids for free tonight because as part of their X-Mas gift i told her they get a free night of babysitting. I tell her this and says no. I better take the money or else I can't watch the kids again ( joking of course ). She said that even though they are loosing their house she has a pretty good job and can afford food for them. Now that Wade is out of work I need all the money I can get. Now I am at work again. I brought 2 movies tonight because last night I had too much free time with only one movie. I don't mind the night shifts. I can acctually take little breaks and go walk outside for a little bit. But tonight the owners are out of town and really watching the cameras. I get here and some one comes in to get a room. The girl drops the price for the guy and he doesn't want it, so he leaves. Right away we get a call from Darwin asking why he didn't take the room and he has been calling me about everything. So now I feel like I can't take a break tonight. Or even go to the bathroom. Which really sucks because I have to go. : ) Even though my shift just started I keep thinking about sleeping. I can't wait until 7. Only 7 more hours to go. It's going to be a rough night. Wish me luck.

Wishful Thinking

2009-02-21T05:33:00.000-08:00

I really miss working at OTC. I really loved it there. I know the more I work at the hotel the more I am going to hate it. That's horrible huh? At least I have a job and me and wade aren't both out of work. But I really miss it and all the people I worked with and all the people that came in everyday. I hate working with the public. I want a job where I can just work by myself and not have to deal with annoying up tight people. Wishful thinking. Maybe I am just tired from being up all day. I don't know. I really hope wade finds work. Maybe then I won't have to work. I hate working here. I am hoping for something better but I know I will never find something better. Jeez what a winer huh? Oh well. I only have 20 more minutes left. I'm just trying to make the time go by. I think I am really depressed. Sorry this post is such a downer. I am really emotional lately. <3

Laid off

2009-02-19T12:35:00.000-08:00

Everyday I hear about people getting laid off and loosing their jobs. It became a reality to me when Wade lost his job. I figured with my new pay raise and working 7 shifts a week that we would be okay. Plus Wade got his unemployment checks and that would help us out a lot. People tell me everyday that either they or their spouse has lost their job. Well on Monday Aaron and Britin want to talk to me up in their office. I knew right then what was going to happen. I saw how much money was being brought in each day. Everyone knew it was coming. It was just a matter of time. They told me how bad they were hurting and that they've tried to hold on as long as possible but they couldn't any more. Everything was going to be shut down on Wednesday. Britin was crying I was trying not to cry. I was thinking great! Now what I going to do? Live off 200$ a week. That will only pay for rent (barely). And then I started to think about them. They just had a baby. Only Britin has work. How are they going to support themseleves? That is what really makes me sick. We are young. We don't have to support 3 kids. I really hope they will be okay. I love them and I would do anything for them if I could. I am not going to go into anything personal with them for their own sake. Luckily for me I kept the hotel job and Darwin and his wife are nice enough to let me come on full time. That takes so much stress off my back. I am working a lot of night shifts. That's going to be a weird transition. Well work is almost over. I'll write more later.

Wade

2009-02-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

So about two days after we found out about me getting the job, we found out Wade lost his. So this new raise was perfect timing. We filled for unemployment and the money should equal out. Tomorrow Wade is going to go talk to his friend about getting a job at where he works. Hopfully that will work out. As everyone knows, NO where is hiring and most places are down sizing. If wade would have been able to stay, his pay would have cut in 1/2 or more. Maybe this is a good thing and he will be able to have a better job that he can have for most of his life. I am just trying to stay positive and not worry about money. ( Which right now is SO hard to do. We are broke. ) It is 5 am right now. I am trying to stay awake fir the last 2 hours of my night shift. Only 2 more and then I get to go sleep. I can' t wait! Well I think I am rambling. P.S. Yesterday I was in the back office at work and I could have sworn I heard people talking. I knew no one was around so I listening really close to everything to see where the sound was coming from. It turns out it was coming from the computer. It was speaking Spanish but no programs were running. I even opened the CD disc thing and nothing was in that. I called in justin to show him. He put his head up to the speakers and it was now singing church hymns. Weird huh?

It's Offical!

2009-01-25T07:03:00.000-08:00

No, I am not prego, but I am a real life manager. I am going to be managing the carwash and the gas station. I am super excited but I am really nervous at the same time. It's a lot of responcability. There is a lot to do and a lot to learn. Yay! Finally. On a sadder note, Spencer's dad died last week. It's been really hard on him. He was only 49. I can't even imagine not having my parents right now. They do so much for me and I really need them in my life right now. I didn't ever meet his dad but I got off work to go to his funeral. During the veiwing the kids got up to speak about him. I had to hold back my tears so bad. I just kept thinking about loosing mine and I can't even stand to think about that. I am tearing up right now. New subject ... There isn't anything new besides that. I am going to get a pay raise. I. Will get about 40$ a week in gas. They might pay for my phone bill. I am going to be opening the gas station (at 5:30) but I do get off way earlier which I love. I am super stoked. : )

Happy New Year ( a little late )

2009-01-14T09:19:00.000-08:00

Well, my new year goals
(which I probably will not actually end up doing)

1.) Loose weight (about 30 pounds)

2.) Quit smoking

3.) Convince Wade to have a baby

4.) Save money EVERY week!

5.) Speak my mind

Has anyone else made any goals this year? Tell me about them.

2008-12-31T16:56:00.000-08:00

so I just saw this kid riding a unicycle thing. It had a regular bike tire but it was lifted higher than a big truck. Talk about random.

2008-12-28T13:41:00.000-08:00

I love you Shweets :)

Just try to keep them open!

Well, Shucks!

This Is Kind Of A Long Post (No Pic, Sorry)

2008-12-28T08:34:00.000-08:00

Wow. It has been so long since I've posted. So let me start from our vacation. We had so much fun. The only part I didn't like was being squished in the car with his whole family. We went to Magic Mountain (I will post some real pictures soon) and it was so AWESOME! That morning it was kind of rainy but we decided to go anyways. What a great idea! There were barely any people there. We never waited in line (Well we waited a few minutes for our turn to get the front of the coaster). We got to ride all the rides a few times (2-4 times). All the roller coasters were different. My favorite was probably the Tatsu? I think that's what it was called. You sit in the seat (with your feet dangling out of your seat). They tilt you forward so you're body is facing the floor (kind of like you are flying). You go over so many loops and twisties, and pretzels. The first time I went on it I was so freaked out. I was considering not going on it. It was so fun though. The scariest one was the X2. When you sit in the seat (You're legs are dangling out) they tilt you backwards so it's like you're almost laying on your back. They start the roller coaster backwards so you can't see where you are going. You don't know when you're going to drop or flip or twist or anything. (So you don't know how to brace yourself) And then at the very end you feel something hot (even though it's cold outside) and as you go past the heat you notice it's a huge flame shooting out at you. It was awesome but so scary.
We had fun down there. I found another record (yay!) and we both got new shoes. It was good to visit the great grandparents, the grandparents, the step grandparents, cousins, etc.
Christmas was good. It didn't feel like we got much only because we gave each other our presents really early. (I swear we are not doing that next year!) We got some great gifts from everyone (THANK YOU!!!). I/We got an iPod touch (including the warranty, plastic cover, clear cover for the screen, and an extra charger), a record (of some of our favorite music), some cute clips for the hair, a candle, chocolates, our Magic mountain tickets, our hotel stay, two shirts for work (which are really cute and actually fit me!) and a coffee maker :)
I wish I could have spent more time with my family (I know I say that every time they come down, but I really miss them). It was fun having everyone down. Last night we all played games till about 1 in the morning. I am a retard because I forgot I had to work/get up at 6. So I slept at my parents house for about an hour, picked up Wade and his friends, took his friends home, got home at around 3 slept for maybe 2 more hours and then had to wake up to get ready. And then this morning I couldn't find my pants I normally wear so I tore up the whole house searching for them. Couldn't find them though. I was afraid I had to wear a pair of Wade's pants. I luckily found some old (REALLY SMALL) nice pants that his Aunt gave me a few years back. I luckily though was not late. I was still 3 minutes early. :) It feels like I have been working for so long. I only have 3 1/2 more hours to go! I promise I will post pics soon.

2008-12-05T13:04:00.000-08:00

So I am on my new iPod touch and I am loving it. Sorry if there are any mistakes they fix most of them. I am loving this thing. I love how I can be on the internet and not have to pay for anything I am going to go though it's too hard to write on this thing

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T16:25:00.001-08:00

It kind of sucks today. I am at work until 11 tonight. I was so bummed out when I was leaving mom's house to go drop Wade off at this parents. His grandpa is in town and I didn't really want to be over there anyway. But as I was leaving I got so bummed out. His dad was being all nice to me and everyone was so sad that I had to work today. I get here and it is so CRAZY! There is 2 huge soccor and baseball teams that are taking up the whole 2nd floor. Everyone is so loud and annoying! I didn' think I would be able to handle it. Plus we have like 100 more people showing up too. So we are booked full.
And then this guy comes up and hands me a plate full of food. Potaoes, ham, turkey, yams, stuffing, and gravy. So good! They picked up after theirselves. And then they gave me some pumkin pie! YUM! I didn't eat any desert at mom's either so this is perfect. I love pumkin pie! How nice and considerate.
:)
Time is going by pretty fast. Well actually not really. I still have 5 more hours. But I just bought a book (the 8th or 9th in a series that I love! I didn't think they were making any more!), so I am happy about that. I think that's what I'll do for the rest of the night. So.... I"M OFF!

That Same Old Song and Dance

2008-11-27T15:57:00.000-08:00

I did what Kali did and just took it off my blog. I don't have my iPod with me.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Help-Beatles

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Bohemian Rapsody - Queen

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Across the Ocean - Azure Ray

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Ha Ha - Mates of State

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Staralfur - Sigur Ros (Which is actually what I want for my funeral)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Sleep - Azure Ray (Which is so true)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Sunrise, Sunset - Bright Eyes

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Love Song - The Cure

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
All You Need is Love - The Beatles

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Screaming Infidelities - Dashboard Confessional

THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Reinvent the Wheel - Bright Eyes

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Sweet Adeline - Elliott Smith

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Hey Jude - The Beatles

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Bowl of Oranges - Bright Eyes

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Four Winds - Bright Eyes

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Baby Britian - Elliott Smith

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Indepence Day - Elliott Smith

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
The Calender Hung Itself - Bright Eyes

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
From a Balance Beam - Bright Eyes

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Light Pollution - Bright Eyes

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Waltz #2 - Elliott Smith

I didn't have enough songs to finish the rest. Oh Well!

Nothing Important

2008-11-23T11:39:00.000-08:00

THIS IS JUST ME RANTING. YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THIS!

So last night I came to the realization that I have no feelings/emotions. I've been pushing my feelings down my whole life and I must not have any anymore. The only emotion I really feel any more is anger. I have been such a monster lately. Not to anyone, but in my head. I wish I had the guts to just say it like I feel it. I envy people who can just be like, "You know what? You suck! You are crazy. Stop looking at me!" (etc.) I really wish I could say that. "You really hurt me. What you just said really pissed me off." (etc.)
I don't know why I have such a hard time with it. I need to figure out a way to express my emotions. It is so hard! I might quit the hotel. I don't know. It is driving Wade crazy. We are seriously not seeing each other anymore. It really sucks. And he is getting really sick of it. I am just trying to help! I sometimes feel that I am not appreciated for what I do. I work 2 jobs, clean the whole house, wash all the clothes, cook, and run around/run errands. Lately I have been feeling like he doesn't even care that I am running myself dry for HIM! For us. So we can live in our own house one day. So we can FINALLY pay off our HUGE debt. To him, I am just working because I am a "work-o-holic" and I enjoy working.
Okay I am done before I make myself cry at work.

I Love Quizes

2008-11-23T06:14:00.000-08:00

What Your Favorite Color Green Says About You:

Balanced --- Relaxed --- Flexible
Compassionate --- Philosophical --- Humble
Loyal --- Inventive --- Unique

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourfavoritecolorsayaboutyouquiz/">What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?

You Are 50% Manic

You are definitely super charged, and your energy is infectious!
Your mania is something to be proud of. You wouldn't be you without it.
Just make sure not to give into that self destructive streak of yours.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyoumanicquiz/">Are You Manic?

You Are a Realist

You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass.
You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is...
But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on.
You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouanoptimistorpessimistquiz/">Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

Worn Out

2008-11-22T22:01:00.000-08:00

I am going to be SO tired next week. I am working tonight until 11, tomorrow 7-3, Thursday 3-11, Friday 11pm-7am, Saturday 11pm-7am, and Sunday 3-11. Plus on top of that I am working at the carwash all those days (except Sunday). I don't know what I am going to do. I am going to be so tired. Oh well. I just keep thinking its all so I can have money to go on a vacation and so I can buy Christmas presents. Adios!

Christian Bale (It's All For You Kali)

2008-11-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

Let me just say before I post this, Kali, you would have DIED! (Or at least something of that extent) So, here I am just working and here comes this guy who looks just like Christian Bale. I turn my head and do like a TRIPLE take. He seriously looks so much like him that I am wondering 'Maybe this is what he looks like off set/off the cameras. This is seriously him. There's no way it's not.' Then Kali, the best part, he comes down the stairs and I hear him talking on the phone. #1.) He has a very (I'm sorry Wade) sexy acsent . #2.) He is talking in a different language. #3.) He eats fast food. (He asked me where In-N-Out was) Kali, you would have enjoyed so much. Now I am not the kind of person to look at other guys since I am married and I am okay with that. But, (again I'm sorry Wade) but he was freakin cute! I'm not that into Christian Bale either. I wish you were here Kali.

Sorry~The rest is me ranting

P.S. On a whole different subject. I HATE people! Mostly the people who get pissed at you because you say, "Oh, hold on let me check that for you." F OFF A HOLES! (Sorry)

X-Mas in Cali

2008-11-16T14:40:00.000-08:00

Wade and I went over to his parents today. Spence was going to cook some of his bomb food for Wade's dad. (He's in town this week) I didn't think Cassie was going to come over because she is allergic to animals and they were afraid Tegan was too, but they ended up coming. I was so happy! I love being to hold Tegan. He is pretty fussy, but he is so CUTE! I need to take some pictures of Tegan and put them on here. Every time I see him it makes me want to have a kid of my own. I know this is pretty much all I talk about anymore, but I can't wait any longer.

I am so excited about Christmas! I know it's kind of a ways away, but I already have my decorations up. : ) (My 3 little decorations) I had a dream a while ago about going to an amusment park with Natali's kids and Kali and Mom. It made me SO excited to go down to Six Flags. We went when I was little to the one in St. Louis, but I don't remember much. I really only remember being able to stay up until 12 and wearing a glow in the dark necklace. I want to apologize for not being able to do much for Christmas. I was hoping to get everyone something, but we're not able to. That makes me so bummed. Oh well. I might post more later, but I am bored right now and I think I am going to go play some games or something. Adios!

A Blog To Pass The Time

2008-11-09T15:53:00.000-08:00

It seems like the only time I am able to get on here and write anymore is when I am at the hotel. It may be boring, but oh well. Resent happenings: We went down to Vegas with Cassie and Spence last weekend. It was way fun even though we didn't do much. Being out of Utah feels amazing even if it is to Mesquite or Vegas for a few hours.

I am absoluetly in love with Spence and Cassies baby (Tegan). He is the cutest little thing. Yesterday they came over for a little bit to "rent" some movies from our collection. Right when I opened the door, Spence hands me Tegan. Normally you have to bounce him the whole time you are holding him other wise he starts getting angry. Yesterday, he was so chill. I sat down on the couch next to Wade and he just hung out looking at Wade the whole time. Didn't fuss or anything. It was so cute. I am really pushing Wade to start trying. He gets pissed at me though because he tells me everytime that he isn't ready and we need to wait. (I think he's like Dad in the fact that if tell him something more than once, he gets angry.) (P.S. I think it's because of his mom and sister. They tell him the same story 100 times and they never remember anything he tries to tell them). ANYWAY...

I was driving to get some food yesterday and I passed all these Storm Troopers and Darth Vader and I had to take pictures. I promise I will put them up soon. It's pretty cool. It's been raining all day today. I love it! (I did wash my car yesterday and yes, I am pissed. Oh well, I do love the rain.) Wade wanted me to read the Watchmen today since I have 6 more hours of work, but I am in the mood to play some games. So I will write more later. Adios amigos! (My spanish is getting pretty good!)

Some more work!

2008-10-30T21:43:00.000-07:00

So I am at work right now (my second job [the hotel]) and this is my first day that I was by myself. (It, luckily was only for 3 hours) We HAVE to have a credit card in order to give the people their rooms. If their card gets declined, it comes out of our pay check. (which I am not going to let happen) So anyway... this ladies card gets declined and I am like "well, I can't give you the room because the card was declined." She starts freaking out at me saying well there should be enough money on the card and that is dumb because I'm not even going to be paying with this card any way. I am paying with cash so you need to let me have the room. BLAH BLAH BLAH. I'll tell you the story later I am going to go home. I'm sleepy.

Hotel California...

2008-10-27T07:37:00.000-07:00

So I got a second job working at a Comfort Inn. I don't think I can do this, but I am going to try as long as possible. We got the new Guitar Hero for the wii last night. It's awesome, but we didn't buy it with the drum set which sucks. It has so many good songs. Eventually we are going to get it with a new guitar, drums, and a mic. That way everyone can play it when they are down.
Anyway, I better go get ready for work! Yay

X-Mas Presents!

2008-10-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

Even though X-Mas is so far away, I need to start thinking of ideas so I don't rush around at the last minute like I normally do. So please everyone give me some ideas, not only for you but for everyone else too. (Especially Dad!)

I am so excited for the winter. I love when it's all cold (and I'm not getting headaches from the heat), and I really love seeing all the decoration on peoples houses. It's so fun to get into that "Christmas spirit"!

So I have a few ideas, but not many so PLEASE tell me everything you want, even if it's $500! Plus, I need an idea for Micah's birthday. Well, I am so bored. I am over at Mom's house waiting for Wade to be done hanging out with his friend. I don't have much else to say. Bye!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Starlafur

2008-10-03T14:16:00.000-07:00

So, I've been reading some books about Buddhists what they kind of believe. It's really cool. Everything is calming and relaxing. One of the books I've started (but have not finished) is called something like How to deal with death and how to live a better life (or something like that). They had some really good suggestions. It kind of got into who Buddha was and his life (which is boring to me) so I stopped reading that one and I am now reading The teachings of Buddha (or maybe it's What Buddhists believe) and I really like that one. They are so peaceful. They don't harm any animals and they try to be nice to EVERYONE! They always think about other people and they try not to ever get angry with anyone. That's something I need in my life. I get so frustrated at everything and everyone. I also watched this really old movie (from the 70's I think), and it was cool. It was a trip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgCxCZNkQ9E

It's like these aliens are on this weird planet and there are these little humans running around. (kind of like ants to us) The aliens take these little humans and use them as pets. They kind of mistreat them (except for one little alien boy) and they go on these exterminating hunts where they try to kill all the little humans. It made me feel so bad about killing animals. You know when you see a spider and the first thing you think about is killing it. That's kind of how the aliens were. It sounds weird, but it was a good movie. Anyway, I got to go so I can make Wade's friend a beanie.

Baby Fever

2008-10-02T15:51:00.000-07:00

So, Wade's friend that he works with, Spence, just had his baby. Britin had her baby. Nanny is going to have hers soon. That's all I think about any more. I know it would be smarter to wait until we are more finacially stable, but I want one SO bad! I know they are hard work and they take ALL your time and you won't have any time for anything, but they are the best things in the whole world. I can't wait to be a fat little pregnant woman and having the baby kick my ribs and make me puke and everything. And then after a while they start walking and runing everywhere.

I am afraid that the baby will health problems (Like Kali's or him having to loose all his hair when he's 8, or having something wrong during delivery, stuff like that). I am also very scared that I am not going to be able to get prego. ( Or have miscarages) I really have a feeling that I am not able to have kids. If that happens, it will ruin me. I mean theirs always adpotion or whatever, but that takes forever and they probablly wouldn't let us have one any way because we don't make enough money. All I know is I have a HUGE baby fever and it better happen soon, or I might go cRaZy!

I'll Be Grateful For This Day

2008-09-30T16:47:00.000-07:00

I know I complain A LOT and I always seem to whine. I am just really glad I have good employees that do care about me. I'm so happy to be living on our own and have the best man in the whole world. I really love working for Aaron and Brtin. I know people tell me I need to quit (and I've said it a lot my self), but they do so much for me and they want to make me happy. I know that if I asked for a raise, they would gladly give it to me. It sucks we're all struggling, and I wish it weren't this way, but it'll get better. I am very glad for the WONDERFUL parents I have who will always help me with anything. (Like teaching me to change my brakes, let me eat their food, and wash my clothes at their house, etc.) I love my family and wouldn't change it for anything else. I'm sorry I've been so negative lately. Everything will get better and hopefully we'll all be better off soon enough. <3,

P.S. I got a new phone through Verizon! (yea!) My new number is (435)669-2490

Sunrise, Sunset

2008-09-25T12:57:00.000-07:00

I think I need a vacation. I also need a day just to myself. No washing clothes, no going shopping for the store, none of that. Just chill at home or whatever and go shopping for me! I am just so confused about everything today. I am confused about my life and where I am heading. I don't know what I want and I think I'm just a little cranky today. Whatev. I miss my family. Everyone needs to come down here and I want to hang out with everyone! I am just ... I don't know. Ready for my weeks vacation. I better run so I can get everything done for the day.

From A Balance Beam

2008-09-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

This is where I want to live ^
|
Not this \/
I'm sorry for anyone who thinks this is nice. This town is HORRIBLE. I need to get out of this town and have a nice trip somewhere that isn't Utah. Maybe I should go live with the aliens!
Fun huh?

I'm Over It

2008-09-07T15:56:00.001-07:00

I am ready to quit and I reallly think I will. I am so sick of Aaron and Colette. I am sick of no one appreciating me. I am sick of all the drama and the bull sh.. I really want a new job or at least Colette to quit. That would make things so much better. I broke down yesterday and just balled for ever. I do SO much for them and no one ever sees it. Everyone gets paid more than I do and I've been there the longest. That's such crap. I've been there for a year and a half and the mexicans get paid more than I do. What the crap? I don't understand it. Acctually I do. It's because I don't stand up for myself and they think they can just walk all over me.

Whatever. I am going to buy some books about what Buhdist believe. I am really drawn to that kind of thing. I love this picture and things that are similar. I feel so much happier looking at it. It makes me calmer.

Horray Horray for work!

2008-08-31T17:55:00.000-07:00

I wish I could have gone to Vegas with Mom and Dad. I am so jealous. I miss Nanny and Kev. If I didn't have to work I would have. Oh well. I hope you guys come down here soon. Bye!

Body In A Bag

2008-08-28T13:48:00.000-07:00

So the other day I was up really late and I saw something so nasty. In went out to go get some food. (First I should say I live right next to a morgue. I always see them cremating people. [Well, I see the vent on top of the building that blows out ashes and stuff] ) So I was driving and their garage door was open. I slow down to see if there was an oven there (for the cremations) and there is a freakin dead body. It was off to the side of the wall and it was in a bag just waiting to be buried or burned. I freaked. Plus it didn't help that I had been watching a show where a guy is killing people. That morgue freaks me out and I hate thinking about me breathing in dead people. I always try to hold my breath when I see the smoke/ash coming out of the building. Ugh...

It's Got Me!

2008-08-28T13:38:00.000-07:00

Good Things Come in 3's

3 Joys
-Being with Wade
-Playing Texas Hold-Em
-Watching T.V. and playing games and watching movies

3 Fears
-Losing Wade
-Not being able to get pregnant
-Losing my parents / family

3 Goals
-Learn the guitar/ piano
-Own a house and start our family
-Lose 40 more pounds

3 Current Obsessions
-Dexter ~now it's over though :(
-Wade
-Spending money

3 Surprising Facts
-I'm a nerd (I guess it's not that surprising)
-I have a "potty" mouth (oops)
-I sometimes don't like the music Wade is getting into ~ I'm sorry.

I tag the only people I know, Nanny, Kali, and Mom

Going Back To Rehab

2008-08-22T18:48:00.000-07:00

So, I need to tell all of you something. I am addicted. I don't get any sleep any more. It's all I think about. It's been running through my head all day long and I can't stand it any more. I need MORE! I am almost done with the first season of Dexter. I can't handle it. I couldn't even work today because all I thought about was Dexter. I just thought all of you should know. You need to go buy the first season and watch it. You too will become addicted. And let me first apologize for getting you hooked (when you go buy it and watch it). I just HAVE to share it with someone!

Don't You Smell Lovely?

2008-08-21T14:34:00.001-07:00

I'm having a Scentsy Candle party on the 30th and I am super excited! They aren't actually candles but they are kind of like candle warmers. There's a little light bulb in the container and you put some wax on the top of it. It fills the whole house with the scent.
Some new news, I bought Dexter (a t.v. show on DVD) and it's awesome. I am so addicted to it. I got it $15 off and I am ready to buy the 2nd season even though I'm not even half way done with the first. During the day, the guy is a jovial employee in the Miami Metropolitan Police Department's crime lab, but his meticulously crafted life masks his true nature. In reality Dexter (the guy) is a disciplined and murderous psychopath (a self-admitted "monster"), and he slakes his blood lust at night by carefully killing the serial killers he tracks down during the day.
It sounds weird but, he has a hunger for blood (even as a little kid) so his dad who was a cop taught him how to cover his tracks so he would never be caught. He kills people who are horrible people. (Rapist, murders, etc.) You'll have to watch it!

Help!

2008-08-14T13:48:00.000-07:00

I've been so frustrated lately. Collette (who I normally love) has been the biggest ... Witch. To say at the least. She called me a liar (pretty much) because something was put into the computer and it was added wrong. I'VE NEVER BEEN SHOWED HOW TO DO THAT! Why would I do that? And for some stupid reason she thinks it was me. And then she goes and tells Aaron some dumb crap about April and he freaks out at her. We do so much for him and he never notices (or thanks us). "Oh, you worked 14 hours today? Well why didn't you get Sarah on break first? She's only been here for 2 hours." Screw him. Freakin jerk. I hope April quits on him and he's left with no one but the Mexicans.
Anyho, on a lighter note. I actually got a day off! Yeah! I've been playing this new game that's so fun. It's getting so hard though. It's called Professor Layton and the Curios Village. I was making April figure out all the puzzles I didn't figure out. Kali, Britt, and I tried figuring out this one puzzle and we still haven't figured it out yet. I'll write it later and maybe you can figure it out.

}:(

2008-08-09T12:07:00.000-07:00

I'm freakin pissed. I hate Sarah and I don't want to go back to work!

I'm Singing In The Rain!!!

2008-08-08T15:27:00.000-07:00

I love the rain! It was hailing earlier. I wish it would rain all the time! I would just be out of a job if I did. : ) This next month is going to be so crazy. I am working every day and most of them are open to close. It's better than having Staci work I guess. I'm training a new girl tomorrow. Hopefully she's a good worker, she catches on fast, and she's cool. I am bored and Kali needs to get home so we can go out to eat. Mom is driving me NUTS! I'm off!

I'm new here, be gentle...

2008-08-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

So, Aaron talked with me yesterday. He would like me to take over Britin's job (since she had her baby) doing the schedule, doing more with the payroll, and becoming more of an assistant manager. Sweet. Hopefully they'll actually do it this time. I've been so freakin sick because of mom : ( Nothing new or exciting other than that.

"I can see your sadness. It's lovely."

We Have No Feelings So You May Not Hurt Them

It's Official!

Thinking...

Our Last Vacation

Quick Update

Court and JERK FACE

My Rantings

My Hopes and Fears For The Upcoming Year

So Much Drama

Remember?

I Am A Fatty

Work=Boring

Crazy Lady and Random Stuff

New Phone

Random Business ** REMEMBER MY NEW PREGNANCY BLOG IS WWW.AMBRIASBABY.BLOGSPOT.COM **

15 Weeks (A few Days Late)

14 Weeks 2nd Trimester Finally!!

Random

Doctor Visit 13 Weeks 4 Days

New Job

13 Weeks (A Few Days Late)

12 Weeks 2 Days - Possible Movement?

12 Weeks

New Job

11 Weeks

A Quick Update

Pigs In A Blanket

10 Weeks = Miserable

9 Weeks + First Doctors Visit

More Car Crap

8 Weeks - Lots Of Throw Up

7 Weeks

Car Update

6 Weeks

Car Problems : (

Almost 6 weeks-Random

5 Weeks Take 2

5 Weeks

4 weeks

Bank problems >: (

- & + VERY LONG POST

Lake Trip!

Memorial Weekend (kindof) Pixs coming soon I promise!!

Update and Movie Review

P. S. I forgot

More Sickness

Crappy, Whiny, and Boring. Warning: don't read unless you want to hear a lot of boring complaining stuff

Freaking Out

Uggh..

Super Catch Up

Nothing New

Kinda Creepy... No, Really Creepy

3 years strong

Another One Bites The Dust

Here Comes The Bride

I've Got Issues

Growing Pains

Wishful Thinking

Laid off

Wade

It's Offical!

Happy New Year ( a little late )

This Is Kind Of A Long Post (No Pic, Sorry)

Happy Thanksgiving

That Same Old Song and Dance

Nothing Important

I Love Quizes

Worn Out

Christian Bale (It's All For You Kali)

X-Mas in Cali

A Blog To Pass The Time

Some more work!

Hotel California...

X-Mas Presents!

Starlafur

Baby Fever

I'll Be Grateful For This Day

Sunrise, Sunset

From A Balance Beam

I'm Over It

Random Business REMEMBER MY NEW PREGNANCY BLOG IS WWW.AMBRIASBABY.BLOGSPOT.COM